purple orchids/ dreamnotfound

5

WARNING!!!!!!!!! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND A LOT OF SADNESS. SKIP IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT STUFF!!!!

recap: they all said bye to one another and went in opposite directions.

george drove off back to his house not wanting to do his nightly routine. he would shower and then eat, or maybe not, and drown in his sorrows with the comfort of his bed.

he let out a loud and frustrated sigh as he walked into his dark house closing the door behind him.

george walked to his kitchen and looked through the empty fridge. he sighed once again before closing it and walking upstairs to his room.

closing the door behind him, he laid down on the bed with nothing but sound of thunder and hard rain.

he grabbed his airpods, putting each of them in his ears. scrolling through a playlist he loved so much, he finally pick a song.

another love- tom odell

he turned it up, but not too loud so he could hear the rain in the background. george remembered how much laughter and smiles he would have on his face when alex was with him.

without noticing, george had felt the tear falling down the side of his face. without controlling it, he finally let them flow out of his eyes.

all the pain he was feeling was too much for him.

he cried and cried all night. he could physically feel his heart hurting.

the next morning.

george woke up with his airpods still in his ears somehow. he put them up considering they were dead and groaned as he slowly stood up.

his eyes were red and his muscles felt weak. he had no clue what time it was but the sun was rising over the horizon.

6:56 am

he had to be at work in an hour so he went to shower and get ready.

he skipped breakfast as usual and locked his front door dreading to work for 7 hours.

george worked in an office, helping with billing status and what not. he didn't care who knew but he hated it.

7 hours later.

2:16 pm.

george packed up his stuff and drove down to the nearest coffee shop he could find. he walked in and sat at the counter, ordering a black coffee.

"george!" he heard a familiar voice boom behind him. george turned around to see clay there at a booth by himself.

"oh hi clay!" he said allowing a small grin to show.

"come sit over here!" clay smiled. he was always so cheerful. george stood up and went over to him and sat across from him. "what are you doing here?" clay asked fidgeting with his rings.

"well if i'm being honest, just trying to make it through the day" george answered honestly.

"yeah me too. i didn't know you like coffee. i thought you drank tea or something" clay said seeing that george was british after all.

"no i don't like tea" george said. "what! are you british though?" clay laughed in shock.

"yeah i am. i don't know it just doesn't taste good to me" george smiled. "well that's something new" clay said.

then, the waiter came over with two cups of coffee, one black and one latte. "ew why black coffee" clay laughed taking a sip out of the mug.

"why a latte? oh wait. that's what you america's drink" george said in a sassy yet jokingly way while taking a sip from his mug. "touché" clay smiled.

"so how you holding up on the shop?" george asked. "well not too happy about it. but my dad said that he would try to help and send some money down to get it back up and running again" the blonde answered.

"oh that's good! i'm glad to hear it" george said sincerely.

the two chatted awhile while drinking coffee and exchanged numbers for future reference.

george reached in his pocket to grab his money until clay stopped him. "no please. let me" the blonde smiled.

"no it's okay really" george protested putting money on the counter.

"no george. you helped me a lot at the shop. it's the least i could do" he said.

george smiled and took the money back. "thanks" he smiled.

"anytime" clay said standing up. "ill see you around" clay smiled as he walked out of the store.

george stood there for a moment and looked at the contact for clay.

he then walked out to his car and began to drive off to the cemetery once again.

once george got there, he walked up to the certain gravestone. "hey alex" he sighed as he sat down running his fingers over the stone. the sun was covered by clouds. it was as if everything had been gloomy and rainy since alex passed. george found himself drowning in his thoughts.

"i miss you" george's voice cracked. 

he took a deep breath, trying his best to keep the tears from falling. he has never cried so much. 

"oh god how i miss you so so much alex" he said letting out a single sob. george looked at the stone, hating how he has to accept that this was the reality. his best friend in the entire world was gone and he couldn't do a single thing about it. 

the feeling of overwhelming rushed over him. he couldn't bare it anymore. 

"if you can't be here, then i guess i'll go there" he said without emotion.

it hasn't been long since alex died, but george had never felt so alone and empty in his entire life. 

george had actually felt happy when he was with clay, but he felt guilty that alex was gone. he deserved so much more than to get killed by a drunk driver. he was in law school, his fourth year actually. he was planning on taking george to mexico with him so they could have a break from everything and have each other to have a good time.

george kissed his index and middle finger, placing the "kiss" on the head stone. he then go up and walked away heading to his car. 

he started it and began to drive home with nothing but the wet tears that slowly fell down his face. it was only 3:46 pm but george knew that if he killed himself now, then he would die knowing that he didn't try to be happier.

once he got home, he went into his house and stood there in the living room in silence. he had a list in his mind.

clean up the house

make a good lunch

finish all his work

clean himself up

take a much needed nap

and if all this stuff didn't make him happy by then, even in the slightest, he would end it.