Serenity [Book 2]

Chapter 01: fresh start

Stepping out of the front door, the warm spring air hits my rosy, tear stained cheeks, and I walk onto the quiet yet usually busy street. I frown when I can't see the car where it's usually waiting for me. I walk further down the street, a smile coming to my face when I finally do. There's a little skip in my step, the driver's side door opening, and I grin when I see the person.

"So, how was today?" Ethan asks with a wide smile, passing over his car keys to me.

"You know; same old, same old." I shrug, stepping forward to approach the car, groaning when he pulls me back.

"Francesca." He warns and raises his brow at me, a smile on his lips.

"Taylor wants me to tell my friends." I say, rolling my eyes as soon as the sentence leaves my mouth. "I know I have to, and I know I so desperately need and want to – but I also know I can't. Talking with you, even four months after I first told you, is painful. She understands that, and I truly believe that she's got good intentions, but thinking about telling them is killing me. I don't know if they'll be like you, that they'll understand everything – what happened during the breakdown, me lying to everyone. There's just more fall-out than give, and it doesn't seem like my happiness is worth that."

"Your happiness is worth everything, you're getting yourself better and this is just one step along the road. It'll be hard, but there's no time limit." He murmurs, cupping my jaw and I shrug him off, hating how easy it is for us to fall into our old pattern.

"Ethan, don't make this harder." I whisper, shielding my heart from further heartbreak.

"You know I don't mean to do that." His eyes are looking away, his jaw ticking.

"I know." I take hold of his hand, forcing a little smile. "Let's get in the car, come on."

Dropping my grasp on his hand, I make my way over to the driver's side door, sending him a cheeky grin before climbing into the seat, and he follows, getting into the passenger. Both of our doors shutting at the same time, me blowing out a breath as I settle back in the seat.

"Wanna have five, chill out?" He asks, and I nod, knowing I need this time to let my mind and emotions settle down, them still on high alert from the session I just had.

"Taylor asked how you were by the way." I might as well start here.

"Oh yeah, what did she say?" He chuckles, smiling over at me.

"She just asked how the separation was on me, if I was still dealing with it. How you were. Just us as a whole." I say, sighing slightly as I recall me breaking down on that sofa, tissues laid on my chest as I sobbed my heart out to her. Honestly, I'm surprised she still sees and puts up with me. 

"And?" He presses.

"I cried. A lot." I admit, looking over at him shyly. "I know we've decided to keep our distance until I'm better, but it's just getting harder as we become close again."

"I know, trust me, I know." He mutters, running his hands over his joggers.

Ever since that cold evening in January when we broke up, I held onto us, every tiny grasp of what we once were, even after he left me in the park, my heart completely shattered when he walked away. I know why he walked away, he did it because we wouldn't have ended, we would have most likely gone back to the dorm together, and I would have played along with my little act. We would have fallen into bed, and the break-up would have never truly happened.

However, it did – I went back to the dorm alone, walking through the door with tears staining my cheeks, it feeling like déjà vu from the time, when I saw him kiss a stranger.