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chapter 13

Nagito's POV

I'm walking back towards my dorm but on my walk back i feel the cold, harsh winter wind blowing agains my tear-stained cheeks. It seems to have gotten colder than when I first left and I now regret not taking some type of gloves or hat.

As soon as I distract myself from our argument, it replays in my mind over and over again. I begin to blame myself and wonder how I'm supposed to fix this.

I'm not good at apologizing or even talking to people after arguments since I hold grudges. But for once in my life, I genuinely feel upset over someone else's emotions.

I take out my phone and begin to type out all sorts of apologies but end up deleting them all. I realize that maybe this isn't entirely my fault and that he's in the wrong too. So I turn off my phone and put it in my jacket pocket.  Plus, I think I need a bit of space away from him anyway. He's been distracting me in my studies and I've done nothing but think about him. How idiotic.

I never used to let anyone interfere with my life let alone affect it. But Hajime is different. Very different.

Every time he shows some type of discomfort or negative emotion, I start to blame myself and cheer him up in any way I can.

Eventually, I end up back at my dorm. I walk in, the nice warm air in the complex hits my face and I once again rub my hands together. I go up and spot a couple of other kids in the lounge, a couple of feet away from my room.

I don't feel like talking to them however, so I simply walk past and don't look up.

I step in, throwing my shoes and jacket off and letting my body fall onto my sofa. That's when all the exhaustion hits my body and I no longer feel like getting back up.

I'm starving, but after remembering that I don't have any pre-made food, I decide to fall asleep hungry. Even though it was only 6 pm, I couldn't allow myself to stay up and dwell on my actions.

Hajime's POV

He left a couple of minutes ago, yet I'm still frozen in place. I want to take back my words. I want to go back in time and stop myself from lashing out. But that's not possible.

I take deep breaths, careful to not let myself fall into a panic attack. I succeed after a few minutes and sit down on the couch. I place my head in my hands and sigh, the quietness filling my apartment.

I'm not sure how much time passes, but eventually I hear a ring coming from my apartment intercom and a voice saying, "Your order is here". I'm too exhausted to give a response, so instead I take the elevator down and pick up the food. I thank the driver, giving him a $3 tip and heading back up.

However I'm too emotionally stressed to eat. So I leave the food in the bag on the kitchen counter and head to my bedroom.

I contemplate texting Nagito, apologizing for what I said and asking him to come back over. But I know that he's probably tired of me too. So instead I text Chiaki. She always knows what to say and she's up late too.

Hajime: Hey you up?

Chiaki: yea as always. what's up?

Hajime: I wanted to ask for your advice.

Chiaki: sure, shoot