Atlantis // DNF

Mad

Third person POV

George doesn't know what to do, because Dream is mad and he knows the reason but he doesn't know why. Why would he. Why would he mind.

And George knows that he should feel sorry, he should try to talk to him and figure it out but George is petty and if anything, he is mad. Because how could he? How could Dream just go out and about, dating all these girls, but the second that George won't give Dreams he's all, he's mad. And George is mad too.

How can Dream go silent for so long and not say anything, well he isn't silent but he might as well be. They don't talk like they used to and George doesn't want it to hurt this much but it really does and he wonders if Dream really is jealous. Because it doesn't make sense, why would he be jealous?

So George does the only reasonable thing he can think of - he Goes to the library, smiles at David and let's him drive him to a cafe. And they eat and talk and for once in these two weeks George doesn't feel alone.

He knows that he's being selfish. He could never give David the thing he is searching for and he knows that he's purely waisting both of their time.

But maybe George is sick of feeling so empty, so used and so alone. David might not sound like underwater but strong wind is alright too.

George wonders what it's like to love him. What does David see when he looks at him and smiles. What is he thinking about. He wonders what it's like to look at him and see something worth loving. He likes to think about that.

He knows what it's like to love Dream, he knows what it's like to shiver at his voice and fall deeper with every sound, every thought. He knows what it's like to love things. He loves the way peppermint tea tastes and how library smells like. He loves the sound of the sea and Atlantis.

What does David think when he looks at him? Does David hear something? Does he feel like home?

George hates that he can't feel it too, but he's good at pretending.

George's POV

I've been to his apartment a couple of times and we are hanging out often, David is nice. I like him. I think he would be a nice friend.

So i feel sorry when he kisses me and as much as i try i can't kiss him back.

And i feel sorry for myself too because streaming is becoming so much harder, my content might be amazing and people might not notice a single thing but every time i hit the end button i'm filling up the bathtub but it isn't helping, because nothing really helps anymore. I miss Dream. And i miss Sapnap.

"Yes, George?"

"Hey, Sapnap! How are you?"

"I'm alright. How are you?" And i hate the way he sounds tired, like he hasn't been sleeping.

"Are you really ok?"

"I'm just tired."

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I'm talking to Dream a lot. He needs me."

The pang in my chest feels almost deadly. I wish it would be.

"Is he ok?"

"No, not really. It's alright though. We're figuring it out."

"Can i help?"

"I'm sorry, i don't think so."

"Oh." and i hate it more than anything.

I don't want to know what David sees in me, i want Dream to be the one looking at me.

It feels like time is turning backwards and suddenly i'm listening to Atlantis for the first time and i'm panicking and driving to my mom's apartment again. And i don't know what to do, because this time it's not just my thoughts that Dream hates me, it's the fact that he actually does.

And this time my car takes a different turn and i'm at Davids apartment instead.

"Hell- oh. George?"

And he hugs me but it doesn't feel like home, it's suffocating. It pulls me out of the water but i want to swim.

And that might be the reason why i leave his apartment without a word and i'm driving to my mom's apartment with my phone ringing. I know it's David but i can't pick up. I hate hurting him. I should have never started this.

It might be the way that my mom looks at me from the couch, and i know all too well that something is not right. And it might be my sister's voice from the kitchen asking my mom who is it for me to be sure. Something is not alright.

"George?"

"Mom? A-are you ok?"

And it feels like Christmas all over again because we're all crying and my mom looks at my sister. Soon enough we're sitting in my old bedroom and i have no idea what is happening but it's so wrong and i hate bringing this feeling in these walls.

"She's sick."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that she's sick George. She told me on Christmas. She couldn't hurt you."

"What?"

"She- She wanted me to come over."

It silent and i'm choking on air because i know what she's going to say and i can't take it.

"To say goodbye."

I don't know what being homeless is like. I have no idea. I have been lucky enough all my life to have everything i could possibly need but at that second. At that time i feel my body being thrown out of its home and suddenly there is no roof over my head anymore. I don't know what it's like to loose someone but if loosing home isn't enough, i feel part of me going missing too.

It's a span of two weeks and i have lost so many homes. My apartment isn't a home anymore and i don't feel any comfort in the walls. The library feels like a library and i don't enjoy sitting at the corner, because my phone is not calling and the books aren't breathing. I haven't been to the cafe in a long time because David likes a different one. And now David is gone too and i will have to take the blue pin off of his apartment because it's not home and never was, it was an distraction. Soon enough i won't have a single home left in England but my sister isn't in Germany anymore and she's here, holding me, but she's breaking down too. So where can i go?

Sapnap's home is taken already, Dream needs him. I've hurt him enough. I cant take that from him too.

I have nowhere to go and it isn't even sad anymore, i'm not crying. This time it really feels deadly and i wonder if it is. I think it might be.

I need a cold bath.