Atlantis // DNF

𐀡𐀮𐀆𐀃

Dream's POV

My breath is long gone and i'm trying to be there for George but it's hurting so much and i have no idea what to do with myself.

I have never lost a family member, well i have, but as a kid. And let's be real, when you're a kid and some relative that you don't know passes away, you don't really care.

But i do now, because even though she wasn't a family member i still loved her so much. She felt like one.

I know that George doesn't even know how much we talked. I would have told him but i felt like invading his personal space but i couldn't stop either. It started with his mom calling me at the wrong, maybe right, time to ask how George is doing. I was having a panic attack and she knew so well what to do. Since then i had her number at my emergency number list and we would call from time by time.

I would check up on her and she would do the same. And it felt like family. I had dreamed about her being family. It would be nice.

But i have to hold my hand over my mouth to suppress the sobs because George doesn't know and why would i tell him now? Why would i tell him now that his mom called me love and talked to me like family? Why would i tell him now that i loved her and it felt like she liked me too? Why would i do that now?

The sink is running and it's for George but it's calming me down too and even though the hand over my mouth is suffocating me, i don't take it off. I don't know if i can.

"Dream?"

"Yea?"

"Thank you."

and it's a thank you, probably for the water or the things i said but it feels like so much more. It almost sounds like he was trying to say something else but that might just be me.

And i hate to think about my heartbreak at times like this, because George is hurting so much more and I can't even imagine. I cant even imagine being alone like that.

"George? I'm right here. You haven't lost everything. I'm here for you."

"You don't have to be. It's alright."

"I want to be."

"Why would you, Dream? I'm a mess and i'm selfish. I'm hurting you and i'm hurting myself. I'm tired and lost and i have nowhere to go. Dream you have so much to do."

"I don't care! None of it matters ok? Because it's you George and i'm here for you. At all times, no matter why and where. I mean that."

Patches lays in my lap and i wish i could send this love to George. I wish he would be here so i could actually prove it to him. So i could look at him and he would know how much i mean it.

"Dream? I'm sorry for hurting you."

"You aren't. I hurt myself. I do things i shouldn't and they end up hurting me."

silence seems loud tonight. Silence seems deadly tonight. I think i can hear him falling apart and trying to glue himself back together.

It hurts so much because i wish i could help, i wish he would let me. But he doesn't and i don't want to make mistakes.

"Can we read another book?"

It comes as a surprise because George has been the one reading all this time and he's choosing the books. It's never been a question.

"Of course. Go ahead."

"Can you read it for me?"

"Me?"

"Yea."

"Sure yea. Ok. Um. You want something specific?"

"Something about Atlantis."

and i wonder if there is a single book left that we have not read yet.

"Do you know the story about Poseidon?"

"That's you. I don't."

"It's not a book. But I can tell you about it."

"Ok."

I hear water running quietly in the background and it's so calming to hear him ok again. Or at least ok enough to make a bath.

"Legend says that Poseidon - the God of sea, storms and earthquakes, built Atlantis when he fell in love with a mortal woman Cleito. He made Atlantis in middle of the sea to keep her safe. Poseidon is considered one of the most moody, bad-tempered and greedy Olympian gods. But when he's with Cleito, he's good. He's happy and he is ready to give up everything for her."

"You said you're Poseidon."

"I know." And it's not the answer he expects so he doesn't ask more. It's a statement and he let's it be.

And i agree, I'm Poseidon. I'm selfish and all over myself. I'm greedy and jealous. But when George is reading, when he's there, when he's just being, i'm alright.

I wish i could build a beautiful island to keep him safe. I wish i could keep him safe from all the bad. But i can't, as much as i try, i might be the one bad for him. Because i stress him out. I make him worried. I make him overthink.

I wish i could tell him what all this is for. I wish i could, but i can't, because he doesn't want to know. He might have said David and that might sound like a pretty manly name, but it doesn't change the fact that it's David. And it'll probably be them again and again. I don't know who they are, but i hate them already. I'm greedy like that.

The Poseidon in me is acting up and i push it down because George needs me and i shouldn't be thinking about myself right now.

"How are you feeling?"

"Do you want a real answer?"

"Always."

"Dead. I feel dead. It's not like i'm even sad anymore, i just don't feel anything. I though i would like that. I don't."

It hurts, because he's not feeling anything. And I am still feeling so much.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm in the bath. Do you mind if i.. lay down for a second?"

"No. Please come back up though."

But he probably doesn't hear that, because he doesn't reply and it's silent.

I suck in a breath and i'm holding it, waiting. And it's too long, way too long.

"George??"

And when he doesn't answer i feel my body shoot up from the sitting position on the bathroom floor.

"George?!"

And finally i hear him coming up with a loud breath and i want to attack him for that because i almost just had a hear attack. But i guess he is used to it, he said he does it often.

"Jesus Christ, i though- George oh my god i was so worried and you didn't answer and I though you-"

and he laughs and i have no idea what to do because what the fuck but he's laughing and it's just so, so wonderful to hear that and i don't know why but tears start streaming down my face and he slowly stops laughing and apologises but he's still giggling and i just can't stop my heart from breaking because it's him.

And i love him so much that nothing could ever compare to it and it doesn't even feel like spring, it's a whole century and it's ups and downs, summers and winters, deserts and oceans and i wouldn't change it for anything. Nothing could ever explain it and the closest that i can get to it is underwater. It's the beach and loud waves. It's diving and it's the salt water in my hair and i still wouldn't change it for a swimming pool.

I love him so much that it hurts. I love him so much that i don't know what to do and the truth is that i can't actually do anything.

He is Cleito herself and i'm Poseidon.