The Elements Of Life

I'll wait for you

I can't believe I might get to talk to Raven today. I don't know what I'm going to say or do. I'm kind of scared. Raven walked away and I'm standing there helpless and in tears with everybody staring at me. This better not be my new reputation. I walk to my car to cool down. This is so embarrassing. I hate sitting here in silence so I put on some music. I open Spotify and realize that the only music I have and have ever listened to reminds me of Raven cause the only music I listen to is on our playlist. I turn on the radio and they start playing This Town by Niall Horan. That song was playing during my first dance with Raven at prom last year. It starts playing and I start singing along. I know it's weird for the tough high school jock to be singing along with Niall Horan but I'm heart broken so I honestly don't care. I feel fine until I truly listen to the lyrics. I didn't realize how much the lyrics actually match with our relationship. I love her. I still do. I was an idiot for cheating on her. I want to be with Raven for the rest of my life. I want to have a future with her. I don't know if I'll get to have a future with her anymore cause I really messed up. I break down in tears and start thinking about our memories and how much I love her. I can't risk letting anyone see me like this. I can't let Raven find out. I go for a drive around the block and put on our playlist. I cried the whole time I listened to it but I figured it would make me feel better. It really did. Once I feel stable enough to go back to school I turn around and park in the back of the school. I've parked in the same spot ever since I got my license. I park and sit there for a second longer. I take a deep breath with my eyes closed. I open my eyes and see Emma start walking towards my car. She knocks on the window and I tell her to get in. There is still about 20 minutes left till lunch is over. "Can we talk?" she says with a deep breath. I nod. We start talking about her pregnancy and what is going to happen with it. I told her that I would support her and help as much as possible. She asked me if I think she should keep it or not and i told her that it was 100% her choice and I would support her either way. She decided to keep it. I'm going to be a father! At least one good thing came out of this. "So considering we are going to be parents together, are we going to be together or are you getting back together with Raven?" she asks. I never really thought about it to be honest. I think for a second and that's when I realize it. I want to be with Raven again. "Emma, you are amazing and such a great girl but I love Raven and I want to be with her. I'm sorry but it's not going to work between us."  I say will looking into her eyes. She's disappointed but she understands and supports me. Emma leaves school cause she was upset that we couldn't be together and that people knew she was pregnant. I go back into school and grab my things to go to my next class. I sit in the back and hope nobody notices me that much. I got the odd person staring at me but I kind of figured that would happen. I get through my classes and head out of school. Raven is standing there. I slow down a bit and she walks towards me. "So are you gonna drive me home so we can talk about this or what?" she said. I take her my the hand and bring her to the back of the school. We get into my car and I start to drive us to my place. We sit in silence at first until she finally says something. "So where are we going?" she says. "The same place we always went to after school. My place." I say. I pull into my driveway and we go to my room. I walk in first and sit on my bed. She sits in my office chair. "Care to explain yourself?" she says. I start explaining everything that happened that night with Emma and the day after. Raven is pissed and starts crying. I try and apologize and tell her that Emma means nothing to me. I refuse to tell Raven I love her. I'll regret it if I do and it goes wrong. Raven isn't believing a word I say. I sit at the edge of my bed and hold her hand. I look into her eyes. "Raven... I meant every single word I just said. Emma and I are over. I just want to be with you. I'm sorry. I love you. I really really love you. You're my everything and I even imagine a day without you. I want to spend a life time with you." I say. I wipe her tears. "Do you really mean it? How am I supposed to trust you again? I loved you Dexter and then you cheated on me with my best friend. Now she's pregnant with MY boyfriend's kid. My EX boyfriend's baby. And even after all this...I STILL love you." She says through tears. I start crying. I love her and I'm kicking myself for hurting her."I talked to Emma. She's keeping the baby and I'm going to try to be in it's life as much as possible. It's my kid and i want it to have a good life. But just because I want to be in the baby's life doesn't mean that I want to be with Emma." I say. "That doesn't have anything to do with this." she says angrily. "But it does. I don't want to be with her. I love you Raven. I want to be with you. I am so unbelievably in love with you and I can't imagine a life without you. I love you so much that I cried in my car listening to our song because I couldn't stop thinking about you. Every night I dream about you walking down the isle in your beautiful black wedding dress with platform boots that go up to your knees. I smile when I hear your name and any time I'm with you, time stops. I love you more then anything. I'm sorry. And if you don't want to be together again then I'll wait for you. " I say through tears. Raven stands up and pushes me down on the bed. She sits on my chest and starts kissing me."I believe you. I love you Dex." she says. We start making out and we end up having sex. "So what happens now? Are we back together or was this just a one night type of thing?" I ask when we finish. She kisses me and smiles as she's laying on my chest. "Do you want to be together again?" she asks. I kiss her and nod. I can't believe it. I got back together with the love of my life. "Looks like you don't have to wait anymore." she says with a smile. I love her so much.