Can't get you off my mind [Zarry]-English Translation

#Golden

Zayn's PoV

Almost a month and a half had passed since Harry left.
I'd tried to write him several times, putting my pride in a corner and taking responsabilities that weren't even mine, but that i'd be happy to have if it meant having him back.

In the first two weeks i'd wrote him all day every day: i gave him the goodmorning, i told him how empty the house was without him, that i'd found the puppy a name, i'd called him Harvey, and i told him how it seemed to be lonely too sometimes, so i'd thought i could give him a friend, maybe a cat that he could have taken care of himself if he'd come back.

Harry initially answered with some short words, returning one of my goodmornings or goodnights, or answering to some questions that i asked on purpose to push him to write me back. But, with the days passing by, he wrote me always less, so my texts started to reduce too.

Now it had been two weeks since we last wrote eachother.

Our chat had been left unfinished. Specifically, a goodnight of mine that hadn't received an answer.

I had to push back the need to call him, cry and scream to him how much i missed him through the phone. But it always ended with me doing it by myself on our bed.

Also, that night i was layed in our bedroom, and i was distractly deleting the notifications from my phone.

I didn't feel like answering to anyone. I'd stayed alone during those weeks because i thought it would have helped me, but it did nothing but make me realize how bad it was for me to be without somebody.

My cheeks were still ripped by some tears that had fell after i stared at our texts for about two hours, while hoping that that "online" would have turned into a "is writing", and while i was about to close the app i noticed that it was actually happening.

My heart started pounding, like if it had had a syringe of adrenaline and a charge of electricity.
I felt my hands shacking while my eyes started shining for the thrill of knowing if he was actually going to send what he was writing.
In that fraction of seconds, when i waited for the text to arrive, i unintentionally kept my breath, and noticed it only when the cold air of the room filled my lungs again, making me almost shiver.

From Haz:
'Zayn, Lou's mom died a few hours ago. The funeral is going to be tomorrow morning, at 10.00,  in the chapel next to the park. Goodnight'

From me:
'Okay, see ya tomorrow'

I didn't know if i was happy or not about that message.
I was so sorry that, in the end, that sweet woman hadn't made it, but mostly that she'd left so soon.

But it was the fact that Harry had wrote me to make me know, even if he'd probably done that with everyone. 
That final goodbye almost made me melt. A lot had passed since i received a text from him. Specifically, since he gave me the goodnight.

I would have wanted to know if he'd thought about me during that period, and if that last word had been written on purpose, just because he knew that a too cold message would have hurt me too much.

It was going to be a sad event, but at least we would have seen each other after almost a month, and my heart couldn't not pound for the excitement.

I was feeling like a little boy who had received an invitation from his crush.
But i wasn't a little boy, and Harry wasn't my crush.

I probably should have got angry at how he was acting. He left me after all the promises he made. But i could just be happy at the thought that i was going to see him again.
I'd taken a lot to break up with Liam, really a lot, but i'd finally made it, and i would have been ready to make Harry forgive all of my mistakes, if only he would have let me.

That night, after a lot of weeks, i'd been able to fall asleep calm.

I didn't care if something was going to happen or not. Seeing him again was enough. Then i would have thought about a way to win him back.