Can't get you off my mind [Zarry]-English Translation

#Falling Pt.1

Harry's PoV

Since the doctor called to announce Johanna's death, i hadn't seen not even one tear fall out of Louis' eyes, but iyou could see he was broken inside.

He spent the whole morning comforting his sisters, trying to find a way to justify the reason why their mom was gone, but it looked like not even him was believing his words.

I took charge of organizing everything for the ceremony that was going to take place the day after, and i'd told everyone by phone. Everyone but one person.

A few hours had passed since tit happened, and he was the only one i hadn't told yet, but my hands didn't seeme like wanting to collaborate.

I abandoned the idea of calling him with Louis' phone because i knew he would have wanted to know from me, and it seemed right to me that i should have been the one to make him aware too.

We hadn't hear from each other in two weeks because i didn't have the courage to admit i'd been a jerk by leaving him like that just because i couldn't get over the fact that he'd became so necessary to me.

I knew how much he'd always been important, but being friends is completely different from being boyfriends and living together.

What would i do if one day he got tired of me, or if we would realize that we weren't that fine with each other?

I'd already lost him once, and had any intention of suffering again, because i knew it would have been impossible to stand that feeling again.

But during those two weeks i'd realized that by acting like this i was making us both hurting again, and i'd left him without even giving him a real explanation. I panicked and pushed him away.

I didn't know what i could do to make him come back this time, and i didn't want to confuse him more by trying to come back to the way we were during our last weeks, if i didn't even know what to say to him.

It looked to me like i was doing it all wrong, and the more i thought about us, the more i realized i was ruining it all over again, and this time it was just my fault.

I'd ran from him and closed in myself to not hurt, but the more the time passed, the more it felt like there were no more words we could say to each other to go back to how were before.

I'd tried to close myself into a bubble, in a room by myself to not be in pain, but the more i kept acting like this, the more that room felt like it was filling with water.
The more i was alone the more i risked to fall back, and after that period without him, that room, that was supposed to save me, had filled, and now i was risking to drown.

I had to recompose all the feelings i had for Zayn and try to keep them in balance in order to write that message.

It was a sad text, that wasn't about us, but i knew that the consequence was seeing him the day after, in an equally sad situation, but i was still going to see him after a long time, and i didn't know how i would have reacted when our gazes would have met again.

The day after
Zayn's PoV

That morning i jumped out of bed right after hearing the alarm, and in an hour i was already ready.

Unlike the night before, the anxiety and the nervousness felt like having calmed down, and i couldn't find an explanation for that since the moment where i was going to see Harry again was closer every second.

I gave some food to the puppy before going out, and i'd stopped to buy a bunch of flowers before getting to the chapel.

I noticed that, even if i'd left from home soon, there was already the crowd in the square, but i couldn't see any curly head between the ones that were there.

I got closer to a few people who had flowers in their hands as well, and i put mine with theirs next to a photo of Johannah. I kept looking at her for a while, and the moments between me, her, and Louis from when we were younger came back to my mind.

"Zay?"

I'd been distracted from my thoughts from that voice that called me, and i understood who that was right away, although i was giving him my back, and my heart seemed to have understood it too since it started to fasten it's beats.

When i turned, i felt the words blocked in my teeth, and i couldn't tell him anything. I just stood there looking at him.

It felt like a lot of time had passed, and my body was shacking from the need to caress him, hug him, or even just touch him, but nothing of that happened.

He stayed still looking at me, probably waiting for me to say a simple "Hi" for kindness, but i didn't, and he kept talking.

"It'll be filled with photographers and journalists in a bit, but Lou doesn't want to make statements. If they come closer, avoid them, mh?"

He moved his hair to a side and blocked a strand behind the ear. I'd been enchanted from how his mouth were opening to let those words out and from the calm he used to say them.
His voice seemed to caress me, and i had to take back all of my strenghs to focus on understanding what he was telling me.

I simply nodded, and he made a hint with his head, making his eyes flow on me before turning and walking away.
I felt my body tremble under those so clear green eyes. That green that was so different from the last time we'd seen and talked.

"Harry"

His body automatically turned even before that i could finish pronouncing his name, and he seemed to noticed because he started fixing his jacket to hide the speed with which he moved.

"Yes?"

He looked at me again, and made me realize how much i'd missed those eyes during those weeks.
He sniffed, like he always used to do when he was nervous.

"Can we talk after the cerimony?"

That question came out of my mouth almost like a supplication, and i suddenly felt my throat dry while he looked at me surprised.

"Yes."

Our eyes crossed again for a few seconds, and he he broke that contact first.

He walked away without saying else, but for me those two letters were enought to lighten the weight i'd been carrying in my heart since he'd left