Abhor
When someone/something is despised or disgusting
Ever since i was young my body didn't feel like my own
Sometimes I didn't know why
Sometimes I not even an inch of an idea why i felt the way I did
And when the day came when I realized
Fifth maybe sixth grade
I decided it wasn't worth saying
lived in my head as the man i'm meant to be for so long
I kept it to myself and eventually decided it wasn't true
Sitting at the lunch table I realized the life I had ahead of me didn't look so good
So I pretended not to be
I don't have regrets but if i did that moment would be one of them
The one that takes up the most room in my mind
I often wonder the life I would have lived if I would just have said something
Something to anybody anybody at all
I ponder if I wouldn't have to face so much hardship
And struggle so much with what could have been
ablution
The action of cleaning yourself
I often find myself wishing to start with a blank canvas
Not have to paint over white and see the sapphire and rose come through
Hoping for the day when I don't have to paint on the one I've always used
So why not stop by the thrift shop and buy one even if their are shades of yellow leftover
What's stopping me from becoming someone new
YOU ARE READING
The colors of spring and winter
PoetryA poetry book covering topics like mental health, daily life, spirituality, lgbtq identities and the typical experiences of a teenager. The last sections or "dictionary poetry" are a collection in which the poems are inspired by words from the dicti...
