Lean on Me Forever || rini au

23. safety and love

tw; mentions of abuse and death

ricky lead nini into the backstage of the auditorium where they usually went to, putting his bag down as he turned to face her, seeing that she still had her hood on.

he felt his heart race as he walked slowly towards her "c-can i-?"

nini glanced up at him before shuddering a breath and pulling her hood off of her head, ricky looking at her face with his eyes full of hurt and heartache.

"neens," he whispers as he brought his hand to her face to see a bruise, nini feeling her eyes sting as she looked away from him before he let out a breath and pulled her into her embrace.

nini felt his arms wrap around her small frame and she felt her heart break as she finally let tears fall from her face, a sense of relief yet terror erupting around her body. she felt safe in ricky's arms, safe from everything bad and everything horrible that was around her. but she was also scared of what he would think of her when he found out.

she tightened her grip around him as she buried her head in his chest and he brought her closer to him

"i'm sorry." he said in a small voice

nini shuddered a breath and sniffled as he pulled away and lifted her chin, his eyes searching hers as he wiped a tear away from her cheek.

she looked away from him, ricky already noticing that there was still something bothering her.

"what's wrong?" he asked

nini fiddled with her fingers as they both sat down on chairs, keeping her eyes glued to the floor.

"y-you're going to hate me..." she whispers, her voice breaking.

"neens, i already told you i can't hate you." he said

she looked up at him and shook her head as she closed her eyes and more tears fell from her face, nini taking a deep, shaky breath before looking away from him once again.

"n-noah..." she begins "h-he was-my foster brother. w-when i was in san francisco..."

ricky clenched his fists and swallowed as he nodded "he's-he's the guy-"

nini nodded quietly and she opened her mouth "i was-thirteen, when i moved in and h-he was-um-sixteen...i-stayed there until i was about to turn fifteen..."

ricky felt his heart race as he saw her face, quickly speaking up

"neens, you don't have to-"

"yes i do." she says in a small voice, refusing to meet his gaze as she kept going "he was nice at first and acted like a brother, but-he would get...angry and mad when i did little things, and sometimes he would hurt me by h-hitting me or-by-s-something else..."

those last words hit ricky in the chest and he looked at the girl in front of her. the girl he loves.

he can't believe anyone could go through this, especially her. it pained him and all he wanted was to just hold her and keep her safe until the end of time.

he saw as she had tears fall from her face but she quickly wiped them away

"a-and-i couldn't stop him because-he knew-things about me..." she continued "and-i hate myself for it. he called me-worthless and unloveable and hated. a-and he's right..." she squeaked

he shook his head "don't say that-"

"it's true ricky." she cried "i shouldn't be here. i shouldn't even be alive, i'm always to blame for everything and i don't deserve anyone to love me." she exclaimed

"why would you say that?" he questions, angered at the fact that she would even think that.

"because my father's sitting in a jail cell for being framed of murdering my mom when i'm the one who did it." she blurted out, more tears falling down her face "me. not him."

ricky looked at her, his mouth parted open in confusion. he wanted to reach forward to hold her hand, but he could tell by the way she was seated that she didn't want anyone to touch her or hold her. she was too scared of the outcome.

"i-i was eight and-" nini shuddered a breath "he came home angry and my mom told me to hide in the cupboard so i did, but he kept hurting her-and i just wanted to help her-b-but-i-

ricky shook his head, quickly making his way towards her as he saw nini cry, bringing her into his chest as she continued to let her tears fall in his embrace.

"i-i killed m-my mom-r-ricky." she cried

he frowned deeper as he held into her small frame tightly, nini's tears staining his shirt as she sniffled and sobbed.

she continued to cry as he held her, nini calming down after a few minutes before pulling away and looking at him.

"d-do you love me n-now then?" she asks him, her heart sinking as she looked down to her lap.

she felt ricky hold onto her hand with one, bringing his fingers from his other under her chin to lift her head up for their eyes to meet.

his eyes were glossy as he returned her gaze, seeing her broken emotions inside of her deep brown eyes as he shook his head.

"nini salazar-roberts," he begins "i'm completely crazy in love with you. all of you. your past, your guilt, your everything good. all of it. i love all of you. and i'm never going to stop no matter what you do."

nini felt her heart flutter as she felt her tears sting her eyes once again, this time of happiness as she looked at him

"r-really?" she asks

he nods with a small smile "really."

he wiped her tears away with his thumb as she sniffled before seeing him lean in, feeling his lips on hers softly as warmth and two other emotions flood through her.

safety and love.