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note: this song (above) and this story are keeping me going right now, i needed something to keep me grounded. i'm really glad i chose to write it. anyway, here is the traffic (i'll stop)

"I really don't wanna talk about it right now, Ray." I replied with laughter. "C'mon, Kaleb. Tell us, was it fun?" Frank exclaimed, practically jumping up and down in his seat. I held onto the car handle even though Ray was driving normally. 

"Did something happen? Are you feeling okay?" Ray asked, glancing at me. I was for sure not okay. (that was intentional, okay bye) "It's fine, I'm fine. I'm safe now." I replied, whispering that last part. "We can talk about it later if you want to, okay?" Ray whispered, as we stopped at a red light. I nodded, still avoiding eye contact. How would I even begin to explain it? Yeah, so these creepy robot things move around and I have to try not to get killed? He would never believe me. I didn't even believe it myself.

(i have no idea if there is dutch bros coffee in nj, so let's just pretend there is)

"Can we stop for Dutch Bros, Ray?" Frank asked, interrupting my thoughts. "Yeah, we can Frankie. Is that alright, Kaleb?" Ray replied. "Yeah, that's fine. I think that would help." I stated. Frank told Ray what he wanted. He always got a white chocolate mocha, with 2 extra shots. I always got something from the kid's menu. "Not-So-Hot Cocoa for you. Right, K?" Ray asked. "Uhm, could I get what Frank got this time? No extra shots though." Ray nodded and told the worker what I wanted. 

"Cheers Kaleb, good for you, trying new things." Frank said to me, once we had our drinks. I turned around in my seat and we "clinked" our cups. We started the drive back home at last. 


Once Ray parked the car, I hopped out and opened the car door for Frank. "Thanks K." He said. I was eager to get inside the house. I fumbled with the keys and finally, the door opened. I held it open for Ray and Frank and then locked it. Mikey was sleeping on the couch, his mouth open a bit. He looked so peaceful.

 Frank went to the kitchen and served himself a bowl of cereal. "Don't eat it all, Frank! That's my favorite!" Ray exclaimed after putting his coat away. Frank laughed and served Ray a bowl. The two of them sat down and began eating. "D'you want some too?" Frank asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Maybe later. Where's Gerard?" I replied. "He was sleeping on the air mattress, but he told me it was too uncomfortable. I think he's in our room."

With that being said, I made my way upstairs. Gerard was still sound asleep, covered in multiple blankets. I picked out a fresh pair of clothes from my closet and went to the bathroom to shower.

I couldn't remember the last time I had washed my hair. I got the shampoo and quickly scrubbed my hair. It was very much needed. It didn't take too long to wash it, as my hair was fairly short. I washed my body, taking my time. I just wanted to sleep. I kept running last night through my head. It did happen, it wasn't my imagination. It was real. I reached for the bottle of conditioner and got way more out than I needed. I rinsed it out and reached for my towel. 

The water was cold but it somehow calmed me down. I dried myself off and finally got dressed. Today I chose a black shirt and some old jeans. They didn't really fit but I couldn't bare to get rid of them. I put the outfit on and left the bathroom.

When I got back to the room, Gerard wasn't there. The blankets were nicely folded and the bed had been made. I heard something move behind me but couldn't decide if it was my head messing with me again or not. "You're back! How was it?" A voice exclaims. I lash around, almost dropping my towel. "Oh, it's just you." I caught my breath. "Did I scare you? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to." Gerard replied, frowning. "No, I guess I'm just a little paranoid today." I explained.

"Wanna talk about it?" Gerard asked. "I-I wouldn't know where to begin. Maybe another time?" I stated. "Of course Kaleb, come on, let's go see what the other guys are doing." He said. I hung the towel up on the door and followed him downstairs.

Mikey was awake and sitting at the table, while Frank, Ray, and Gerard were standing by the fridge, talking. "There he is! How was your shower?" Ray exclaimed, getting up from his seat. I hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go. "It was okay, I finally washed my hair." I told him. "That's good." He murmured, holding my head to his chest. I let him go at last and sat next to Mikey. "How was your night?" Mikey asked. I blinked, it appeared that everyone wanted to know. "I don't know." I responded, putting my head in my hands. 

Mikey turned in his chair to hug me and I accepted it. "Thanks Mikes." I told him, after we let go. "Of course, you seem like you could use a lot of hugs." Mikey claimed. The three boys seemed to be whispering to each other. I wondered what they were talking about. I got up from my seat in an attempt to leave.

"Wait, Kaleb, c'mere." Frank called. He called Mikey over too. "What?" We said simultaneously. We were quickly engulfed in a hug. I didn't deserve them. I didn't want to cry because that would only raise more questions. "Thank you guys. You're kind of squishing me, but thank you." We broke into fits of laughter and I let them know I was going to try and get some rest before my shift later. Hopefully I could fall asleep. I ran back up the stairs and into my room.

word count: 961

thanks for reading, i know this is really short, i haven't had a lot of time to write. i promise that the next chapter will be better. 



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