A Thousand Years- Thorki

Chapter 3

When I walk back into the dorm room, Thor lays asleep in my bed. Silently, I drop my messenger bag and grab my swimming bag.

~

I'm halfway through laps when I hear someone else dive into the pool. When I pull myself up onto the ledge of the pool, I find a hoard of students clustered on the bleachers.

In silence, I pull on my robe, as I hear the singular woman call out "Aren't you Loki?" When I look to her, she smiles "The Loki that Banner never shuts up about?"

I press my lips into a fine line and state "Possibly." I hold out my hand to her and she shakes it "And you're Natasha Romanoff. Jiu jitsu sensei. Leading the ladies of campus away from sexual assaults."

"Primarily sexual assault." She states, before looking me over "And we also have smaller men... if you'd like to join?"

I give a weak smile "I'm a black belt in karate." I look her over and narrow my gaze "Don't get me wrong, jiu jitsu is great. I just don't think I'm small enough to benefit from it."

She shrugs "I don't mean it as an insult. You're just mistakenly skinny. You're very muscular... maybe you can join as the assailant?"

I give a sneer and she smiles "We meet up in the old gym on Thursdays at four and eight. I'll take you to dinner." I cock an eyebrow to her and she ruffles her nose "And before you say it, I realize you are gay."

I give a confused look and she points out "You have a tattoo on your lower back." I press my lips into a fine line and she asks "It looks old. When did you get it?"

I take in a deep breath, before declaring "I was fourteen. It was a very symbolic thing to me."

She steps forward and asks "Does it have something to do with the burns on your shoulders?"

I give a tiredly smile, before Banner pops out of the water "What are you doing here?"

"Swimming." I remark.

He takes a moment, before declaring "Something has you twisted. Why, do tell what happened."

I stand strong and pull off my wet cap. As I ball it in my fist, he Natasha smiles at me "You seem so tense."

I furrow my brow and state "I'm going to head back to my dorm. I'm sure Thor is awake by now."

As I walk away, Natasha declares "I like him."

Banner is silent for a second, before declaring "I never noticed his tramp stamp."

~

When I get back to my room, a late-twenties girl with black dreads and a woman with golden hair, and Thor, sit on his bed as he opens a box of snacks.

Silently, I plop down on my bed and put on my headphones. As I crack open a book, Thor tosses his pillow at me.

I look at him murderously, before taking off my headphones. He motions to the two "This is my mother and sister."

I press my lips into a fine line, before declaring "I was trying not to interfere with your family time."

"You act like like you never had a family." His sister remarks and Thor elbows her, giving her a look.

She bats her eyes, before his mother insists "Stand up, dear boy. Let me get a look at you."

I place my book aside and and stand. She looks me over, before pulling me towards her. As she hugs me, it's as if she's something so important, so needed in my life.

I hug her back in an instant and she's instantly the mother I never had. Tears come to my eyes and I have to excuse myself after she releases me.

I walk out of the dorm building and sit on a bench outside. The sun beams down on me as I start sobbing.

I can't stop myself from whining out. My past comes flooding back and I bury my face in my hands.

I feel the bench press under the weight of someone else and all I can say is "Go away."

"Loki?" Thor speaks softly.

I stand and start walking away.

~

Outside the sports building, is a pebbled walkway. Silently, I stuff my pockets with the biggest rocks and step inside.

At the pool, I stare down at the pool, desperately. Silently, I take in a deep breath, before dropping into the pool.

As I sink to the bottom, I scream out in agony. All the pain I've faced in my life, I can't bare to hold it in anymore.

And, if I am to survive this, I'm not going to hold it in anymore.

I can't survive without telling you this.

My life's journal.

My final goodbye.

I was four months of age when my father left me at a fire station.

I was four, when I was placed in that home.

It took less than a day for them to begin abusing me.

And nothing was done until I was fourteen.

That's when they decided I wasn't desirable, anymore.

And as my lungs fill with water, on my nineteenth birthday, I can't do it anymore.

I'm tired of the dreams.

After all, that's where I got this idea.

I'm tired of the pain. The constant reminders of my abuse. The sight of a ruler or a wooden spoon, even a cheese grater; regardless, the reminders are always there.

Those men took my life away.

Even if it did take five years.

As my lungs fill with burning chlorine water, I can't help but feel at peace. The rocks in my pockets hold me to the bottom of the pool, and I have no desire to pull them from my pockets.

Exhausting and cold overcomes my body and I feel at peace, for the fourth time in my life.

My vision goes blurry as my body begs for air.

But nothing inside me wishes to stop.