Switching the positions

XVIII

Kara's part

Every hour felt like a week and every day felt like a whole year without Lena. Probably this was the worst decision that I ever made. I mean for me, for her this was the best. This was how she could stay away from me and from the lot of problems that came with me. Alex was with me a lot. She planned their wedding and she worked, but when she had free time, she spent that with me. She tried to help me to move on and told me that the time will help. But this is bullshit. Time doesn't help. It never does and never did.

It didn't help that I spend every night in the sky in front of her window. If she was in her office I was there, if she was in her apartment I was there. I watched her how she worked all night long. I wanted to tell her to go home and that she worked too much, she needed to sleep sometimes, but this wasn't my business anymore. So I was just floating there and watched how she clicked hither and thither on her laptop. When she went home, and this was the rarer, I watched how she made herself a cup of tea and drank it, while she was watching the ceiling or the floor(Usually she drank whiskey but she drank tea too sometimes.) Sometimes when some emotion arrived on her face I could see how hurt she was. I just wanted to go there and hold her tight and tell her that everything will be ok, and the pain will be gone. I wanted to tell her that in a better, less terrible, less dangerous life we could be together. We could be happy together. I wanted to bring that life to her. I wanted to make her happy and I wanted to see her smile again.

I went to her apartment on that night, but she wasn't there. It was almost midnight. She should be at home and not to work now. I shook my head displeased and flew to her office. The lights were on and two people were in the room. I tried to figure out that what did I see exactly. The cold air was frozen in my lungs and I cried out painfully.

"No, no, no, no." I shook my head fast. I hoped, I really hoped that something was wrong and this was a joke, this was... I hoped that this was not true. Because the love of my life was someone else's love of her life right now, with her tongue in her mouth. My stomach was shrinking into a tiny ball. Lena's hands were around Andrea's neck and Andrea's hands were around her waist. She pulled her closer to herself and Lena let her with closed eyes. Rao, Lena not just let her do it, she liked it. She pressed against her body with pleasure. I felt my heart broke. Into little, little pieces. I wanted to smash the windows and go there. To tell Andrea to get a fuck away from my love, that she could never touch her again and she can't even look at her again. Because she was mine, and only mine. The sour taste of jealousy bit my throat. It hurted so much. I just froze and couldn't move until I heard Alex's voice in my ear.

"Supergirl, everything is alright? What are you doing this late in the town?" Her worried voice was something else, something less painful than my ex girlfriend's and my boss's kissing picture.

"I just... I just wanted to look around." I explained. My voice was so high. Too high.

"Did you check up on her?"

"Yes." I nodded but I knew she didn't see me.

"She is working?"

"With someone's tongue in her mouth." The sadness, the jealousy and the madness mixed in my voice.

"What?!"

"Never mind, I don't care. She can do whatever she wants to do. I don't even give a damn about it. I broke her heart and now she moves one. She can do it." Slowly the angryness won over the sadness.

"Kara, It's ok, if this hurts, there isn't any problem with it."

"It doesn't hurt, ok? I don't care!" Maybe my voice was a little more angry than I planned. "I'm sorry Alex, I didn't..."