Assault With a Deadly Weapon || N.H / 1D

12.

Song recommendation: First by Cold War Kids
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"We pretend that we don't care, but we care.

We do."

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January 13th.

I didn't go to sleep that night. I came home from my shift at the precinct, took a much needed shower, massaging the headache away from my skull. I needed to stop wearing my hair in a bun, but it was getting too long to handle. I didn't know how to style it, or take care of it. I used the most generic brand of shampoo since it was cheap, and it worked well enough.

I had sushi for dinner. I didn't like fish though, so it was all veggie, and the odd chicken teriyaki roll. Call me a fraud, but it was healthy, and I liked it. I sat on my tiny little couch, watching the tv flicker with corny late night shows as I fumbled with the chopsticks.

I wasn't in the best mood. As I drove home after work, I'd seen a couple walking into their apartment with a newborn baby. Yesterday, Styles' Mom had come into the precinct to bring him lunch. And not too long ago, I'd heard that Eric, my college boyfriend, had just gotten engaged. I was happy for him, of course I was, but knowing that I was in my mid twenties and now it's suddenly normal for people to be getting married and having children was sending me into a bit of a panic. I wasn't usually the type of person to worry about that kind of stuff, but I was only human. I was so used to not having a family, that the thought of making my own seemed terrifying.

It was three thirty-two in the morning, and I wasn't planning on going to sleep since the meetup was happening in two hours. At this point of the night, I was feeling trapped in my apartment. I didn't like the silence paired with my loud thoughts. Usually, I'd be sleeping, and that would shut them up. I needed to get out, and there was only one place I could think of going.

I took the Subway down to the South end of the city, as far as I could. That only left me to walk five blocks in the freezing cold midnight air. I don't think I was fully aware of what I was doing, because if it had been light out, you'd never catch me going to this place willingly. My eyelashes were freezing, and my scarf was frosting from the condensation of my breath as I took long strides on the sidewalk. It was much quieter, and darker on this side of town.

Eventually, as my toes felt like they were going to fall off, I approached the tall, pale, yellow house. What was I even doing here? What if he didn't let me in? What if he wasn't home? What if he had someone staying over? That's what my rational voice would've been screaming at me. That rational voice was M.I.A. I must've had a bad piece of sushi or something. I walked right up to the porch and rang the doorbell. It was a cute little chime, not like the aggressive buzz in my apartment that made me jump every time someone wanted to come in, which wasn't often.

I waited a moment, doing a little dance to keep my body moving. There wasn't very good wind coverage in this neighborhood. My hair whipped around my face, and the snow piled up on the porch blew up into my face, stinging my cheeks. I was about to turn around when I heard heavy thuds approaching the door. Like being struck by lighting, a wave of panic spread through my body, coating every nerve with adrenaline.

The front door swung open with a click, revealing a tall, tired, shirtless, figure. His eyes went wide as he realized who was standing right in front of him.

"Carter!" Horan cried in shock. "What are you doing here? I wasn't supposed to pick you up until- wait. I was picking you up. You don't have a car. Did you walk here?"