Assault With a Deadly Weapon || N.H / 1D

64.

Song recommendation: favourite crime by Olivia Rodrigo.
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My Dearest Ophelia,

You're only eight years old. Two thousand nine hundred and eighty days since we met. I've barely just begun to know you, but now we're saying goodbye. You're so small, and a carbon copy of your father. Did you know? Not in looks, not in genetics, but in spirit. I fell in love with him when I wasn't supposed to, and I did the same with you, my girl.

I suppose I should start with an apology, you're so young that you might not even understand this, but one day you will, I promise. I promise that I will explain everything to you when we meet again. For now, you can stop here, just know that I love you. I'm sorry for leaving you. Especially with no explanation. I wish I had a better excuse, but all I'm doing is trying to let you have a normal life. As normal as you can, without your parents.

Once you're old enough, you can read this next part.

The day we met was one of the scariest days I've ever had. You put up quite a fight with me, I should've known you'd be stubborn right from the start. Thirty five hours in labour, contractions that felt endless, and painkillers. They put me on a lot of painkillers. You wanted to give your dear old Mum a run for her money hey?

I was only supposed to have one child, as long as my first was a boy, and he was. Your brother Adam came along when I was just a child myself. I was seventeen years old when I met your brother. I was already scared, knowing that your father came from a family of police officers. My family... isn't too fond of them. When your brother came along, we were set for life, living in New York, raising our little family in that beautiful mansion.

Then we found out about you.

Like I said, I was only allowed to have one child. We were supposed to keep the family small, the bloodline pure. Your brother would only carry on the Carter name, not my family name. He already was in danger. It was so scary. My mother was still having children too. Your uncles and aunt aren't much older than you and  your brother. If they found out about you, if they found out another child wouldn't bear the McBride name, they would force me to give you up.

So we fled.

I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't want you to have to deal with this cruel world, but the minute I held your tiny body against my chest in that bedroom, I knew that I had to make up for all of the trouble that I knew you'd have to face later on. Your Dad and I promised to each other that we'd make our years with you as wonderful as we could. Remember our trips to California? Dad hopes that you'll keep on surfing. He says you have potential. I hope that you never stop finding wonder in life. You're so smart. You know more now than I ever have in my life. You're so interested in everything. Your curiosity inspires me, Ophelia. Please never lose that. If I can ask one thing of you, please don't forget these happy years. Carry them with you, hold them close when you feel distant. We're still here, even if we're far apart.

Now, it's your brother's eighteenth birthday. They'll be able to find us. So, we have to go back. We have to return to New York, but we can't bring you with us. They would hate you, for something you cannot control. So for now, you'll live with Gran. She'll take you to the precinct I'm sure. I know how much you like it there. Maybe she'll even let you solve some puzzles. That would be fun, wouldn't it?

I'm sorry Philly pop, I truly am. I'm only trying to keep you safe and I hope you know that. I wish so badly that I could stay to watch you grow up into the strong young woman I know that you'll be. You're already better than I was at your age. You're everything I wish I could've been. The second you turn eighteen, the second you become an adult, I will be there. I will find you and I will hug you so tight.

I'm sorry again. I'm not sorry that I chose to bring you into this world, I'm just sorry that you had to belong to me.

You are safe with Gran.

I love you forever and always, my little girl.

Xoxo

Mum <3

-

Yeah so who's crying? Me. I'm crying.

There are so many clues in this letter that will absolutely break your heart. Think about time lines and stuff. It's so sad.

Anyway, I wish I could say happier chapters are coming, but right now I can't say that. WE'RE CLIMBING TO THE CLIMAX BABY.

thanks for reading. I'm truly so grateful for you all. And I actually am super sorry for making you guys cry so much.

All my endless love,

-Kallie <3