The Winter Soldier's Girl

The Tragedy

My heart sank was I really going to tell him this?, what will his reaction be?. But the most important question I had was, would he ever forgive me?

"I think your going to want to sit down". Bucky looks straight at me his face emotionless and silent, he hadn't looked at me like that in 6 years. I never wanted to tell him this, I knew I would have had to at some point he deserved to know but I just needed more time. He keeps his hand held in mine as he sits on a chair in Sams room where I stood right in front of him.

"Just tell me whatever it is please doll your beginning to worry me here" the sound of panic in his voice was killing me, this whole situation was so hard. His metal arm began to shake so I held it harder to try and soothe him a bit.

"The test,it...it...was mine Bucky, but not from recently, I took it 6 years ago." He looked at me disturbed his eyes gone red whilst he face became so pale.

"Remember before I had left Wakanda for Dad's wedding ,I had been sick for days, I was practically glued to the toilet, and we both thought it was because I was nervous about coming back to New York. Well it wasn't nerves Bucky. I took at test the day of the wedding and it was positive...Buck, I was pregnant." I felt the grip of his hands loosen on me.

"So where's the, how's the baby then?" His shaking became more erratic.

"He disappeared at the time of the blip when everyone else including you did. I read about it, it happened to a lot of expecting mothers"

"He?" His eyes were so hopeful as if he was alive and I had him in a safe place.

"Well I was only 6 weeks, but it felt like a boy, whenever I was in space and I missed you I tended to call him Jr"

"But everyone that disappeared came back?"

"He did, once Banner snapped his fingers i took a test and it was positive again, which is one of the main reasons I hesitated with the stones, I knew it wasn't just me to think about. Once I had woken up and seen dad with the gauntlet, I had felt the blood trickle down, I knew he was going and to hell was I gonna have a miscarriage in the middle of a battlefield, he deserved better Bucky, that's why I ran out, it's the only reason Strange would make me a portal to get out of there."

There was a deafening silence for a moment where we just stared at each other , both our eyes drowning in our own tears.

"You have to know what happened almost killed me,I had lost my father and our baby within a couple seconds of each other."

He pulls me closer and places his head on my stomach and the tears build up on his face.

"Why,why didn't you tell me before"

"Bucky you've been through hell and back multiple times, I really didn't want to p....."

His emotions came racing in without a second thought , he had dealt with the shock and the sadness now it was time for the anger "If I hadn't have found the test, would you,would you have told me?"

My face was shocked I could barely see through the tears, I was always going to tell him at some point but never did I think that time would be now

"Bucky,Of course....but...I...could barely think about it in my own mind, never mind say it, let alone talk to someone about it! Only Strange knew, I swear. I didn't say anything sooner because I didn't know if you even wanted a baby, i didn't even know if I wanted one Buck. When I found out I was over the moon ,but a huge part of me was scared because you were trying to rehabilitate your mind after being controlled and frozen for years, adding a kid to that would put you under a lot of stress at an already trying time."