peekaboo, I'm watching you

Chapter three - Let the game begin

Ava

I narrowed my eyes slightly as I looked into the mirror, awkwardly stepping side to side, taking in my appearance. I examined myself for at least the fifth time already. For tonight I had decided to wear a black T-shirt, a long black leather coat that had metal buttons with carving of skulls and spirals dancing around them, flowing through the sockets of where their eyes would be. The coat was slightly worn out, but it was one of my favourites that I owned. I looked down at my ripped black and red checked skirt with two chains linked by the side of them, one bigger than the other and completed this look with black tights also. I looked further down at my new rock boots and slowly gazed back up to see my facial features. Today I decided to go with red and black eye shadow and black eyeliner.

My skin wasn't too pale today, due to the fact that I had ran out of white powder. I inhaled and slowly released my breath.I never really concentrated on my features before, I didn’t really like looking at my reflection in the mirror. It just reminded me of- no I mustn’t think of that. I mustn’t think of him. I concentrated on my eyes, particularly on the dark inking forming under my eyes. A slightly semi-permanent tattoo to symbolise the nights I had undergo without sleep because of him. Why can’t I ever be free of him? Why can’t he just leave me alone? I don’t even feel safe in my own home anymore. Anyway, I thought to myself; lets get this over and done with. I scanned my room, in search of anything I would require when I go out. Lingering there a little longer, I had decided to go down stairs into the kitchen. Walking towards the cupboards, I had decided to have a drink and had grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and proceeded to find the bottle of red wine my parents had forgotten about in the fridge. With a sigh at my previous thoughts in the bedroom, I poured the wine into the glass. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. Everything is going to be ok, I thought to myself. Tonight will go as planned, I shouldn’t worry about the consequences. This is my life and I will not be ruled over, I am the Queen of my own kingdom, my house is my kingdom; my realm this is my safe place. No one can harm me, I repeated to myself constantly. I opened my eyes and gazed towards the window.  I couldn’t process the next events completely, the glass slipped from my hand and smashed onto the floor. I saw something- or someone walk past the window. They were standing at my window. Watching me. Observing me. I felt violated, as though they were peering into my diary. My personal life. He was watching me, I thought shakily. My body started to tremble, I swallowed back a cry and slowly backed up to the wall behind me and sank down onto the floor. My hands unstable, trying to search their way up towards my mouth to prevent the scream that’s crawling it’s way out of my throat into my mouth. I let out a cry and looked down at the floor at the red that had splattered everywhere. I looked at this crime scene at the broken glass and couldn’t help to think that in that moment, I had never felt so similar to an object. To feel so fragile, so broken. To watch the life from me pour away, drop by drop.

I can’t allow this. I can’t. Calm yourself down, I thought. This is what he wants. He wants you to be scared, he wants to control you. You can’t let him do this to yourself. I kept repeating this all in my head, trying not to allow it to get to me. Once I calmed myself down, I forced myself to go into the living room, leaving the evidence of that behind me. No looking back now.

I sit on the couch and steady my breathing. It’s nearly time now, I can go soon. I waited for a while, just sitting there focusing on my breathing.
I need to take precautions, just in case I thought to myself. I forced myself to return to the kitchen and grabbed a knife from the cutlery draw. Returning to the living room I placed the knife on the inside of my leather coat.

Before long I heard knocking against the front door.
I jump and started heading towards the door but came to a halt at the mirror. I looked at myself and tried to fix my hair and brushed the invisible dust off of my clothes with my hands, I  inhaled deeply and exhaled. Time to put this behind me I thought before letting out a sigh and reached to open the door. Put on a good show.. don't fuck up, I thought.
I swung it open and snorted to the person before me , "Took you long enough".
I shut the door behind me, before locking it and started walking off. I quickly noticed the person isn't following me.