Bucky Barnes' Heartsong

Moonlight Stroll

Lyra needed the walk. She was hurt, angry, confused and just upset. This revelation was like a kick to her gut. She'd always thought Luke might have done some missions having to do with Steve Rogers, but finding out that he died because of it. It killed her inside.

She was shaking and the tears weren't stopping.

How could he do this to us? Damn it, Luke. You always promised you'd be careful. You promised you'd be there for Erik and I no matter what. But if the Captain needed you, you ran like a lovesick puppy.

Bucky raced to catch up with her and grabbed her hand. She looked down at their entwined fingers and then back up at his face. The concern there warmed her heart a bit but the anger and hurt were still warring inside her so continued to walk. 

She never let go of Bucky's hand though. It was an anchor for her in that moment. It was like he knew exactly what she needed and he did it just right. No one had made her feel this safe since Luke, but that also scared her. How could she feel something for Bucky. It was just lust. She kept telling herself. He was the former Winter Soldier, a killer. Although, now he was a reformed very handsome super soldier. She wasn't good enough for someone like him. She wasn't pretty enough or smart enough. That thought, it made her let go and hold herself. That self doubt she let build up inside her like chains covering her true self it was binding her up again.

Bucky refused to let her go, though. He wrapped her in a tight embrace  and pulled her in his arms. He hugged her close as he walked her over to a bench, on the dock in front of the lake. He put her head on his shoulder and let her cry, yell, curse, scream, whatever she needed in that moment. 

After what felt like hours, her sobs finally subsided. "I'm so sorry. You.. didn't have to stay with me through all of this. It isn't your fault that Luke abandoned us. That he...he was chasing down some super soldier child instead of being with his family. I know what he did is probably the right thing, logically. That it was probably for the good of all mankind or something. I know that he loved his job and helping out all of you Avengers and like I said I don't blame you..." she was rambling now. Almost hysterically. 

Bucky just held her. He didn't show judgement or frustration. 

How do I make her stop? She is just spiraling here. I want to comfort her but she is shutting herself off. I can feel her pulling into herself and it is heartbreaking. Luke had to have another reason. There has to be more."

Bucky put his hand to her lips and shushed her. "Shh... hey...Hey, Lyra,  it is okay. I know you don't blame us. I'm here because I want to be, Lyra. Luke was my friend and I wanted to come on this mission in his honor, but after spending these couple of days with you two I want to stay because I really like you guys. You and Erik."

She looked up at his face. Her self-doubt making her think he didn't say the last part. He turned and looked into her eyes. His icy blue meeting her stormy ocean blue eyes. It was like a cooling calming balm to her nerves. 

"Lyra, I don't think Luke did this just because of orders or because of his fascination with Steve and the super soldier serum. I knew Luke and he wouldn't risk his life and his family if there wasn't something more."

He looked at her face and he saw utter despair still. She got up and started to walk. He followed right on her heels.

Why is he following me? I don't want him to keep seeing me like this. I'm an absolute mess. My own husband couldn't stand to stay around for me. He's probably just making sure I don't get taken or something, but he's being so nice. Ugh stop, just stop. My stupid brain won't shut up. 

"Bucky you don't have to follow me. I know you don't want to be around a mess like me right now." She said and sped up her pace more. Tears started to spill again, slowly falling down her cheeks as her back was to him.