Stressed Animation

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Let me just start off by saying that I haven't yet shown this to anyone I know, even from the production group, and I don't plan to any time soon, but I do have a serious desire to at least let the foreign people of the internet know about this, especially because I know that none of my friends frequent the creepypasta wiki nor Reddit's subreddit /r/nosleep. I'll get into the reasons that I don't want any of my friends, especially the ones on the project, to know about this as I go on, but if at any point that I do, I will certainly be sure to update this. I need to. This really feels like the only way I can vent about the anxiety and worry that's been driving me crazy as of late.

And as a reminder, there is a LOT of detail in here, with I'm sure much more to come, making this a long read. It's more my personal way to get my worries onto a physical, or rather digital, form. Also when I refer to "this" in the first sentence, it will take a while to get to it. Please just understand that right now I'm scared. I need people to talk to and these internet sources are actually helping, it may just be a random person thousands of miles away, but it's still people to listen. And like I said, I... I just don't want to tell my friends. I'm scared of what will happen.

Within the last semester of school, the 2013 spring semester, I finally had a chance to make concrete the plans to begin development on a video game with me and my friends. It was really all made possible by the class we worked out to get all together, my school game development class. in short what you do in the class is step by step go through the game development process (start with creating a tangible story, beginning the concept art for it, begin making initial environment models and character sculpts, start some gameplay mechanics), and by the end of the class either have a short, completed game, or if any groups were willing, carrying it out after the class was over and continuing development. Me and my buds decided to keep going with our project, considering we were all really committed to seeing it to the end. Each of us contributed a great deal of ideas and work, so the bond that formed really held tight.

To my surprise a lot of other people actually took interest in our project, and we were able to recruit a few more people to help with our now out of school project. We even got the lead senior of the animation department and head honcho of the animation student collective Evin to join us. I got pretty excited at that point, feeling like our game was going to see the light of day even sooner than I though.

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May 12, 2013

We took a trip down to our friend and fellow production member Josh's house to get cracking on some work. We arrived, got everything set up, and got to work. It was a great environment too, we were all really focused, some working in 3DS Max, some getting stuff done in ZBrush. What was even better than that was that we were all able to keep going until about 5 AM, without any disturbances.

Though if there was only one thing that some what bothered me were the two occasions that I saw Evin taking some small round pill. The first time I disregarded it immediately, considering I take medication as well, for a generalized anxiety disorder I have. Though the second time at around 2 in the morning, I saw him take another, though I couldn't make out if it was the same kind of pill.

I wasn't about to get up and ask about his medication though, I mean I wouldn't like it if someone asked me why I had to take medication as frequent as that. At about 3:30 though I saw that he started to look really stressed, though nobody else noticed, my friend George was buried in his cintiq on a monster sculpture, and Josh was making a sandwich in the kitchen, so I used this opportunity to possibly inquiry about the medication. I asked if he was feeling okay, to which he replied he was fine, just SUPER stressed out. Being a senior he had a bunch of end of school shit to do, a senior animation class that produces one entire film over the course of the semester to direct, and on top of that, he was now helping us with our game.

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