The Traveler | The Promised Neverland

Inadequate

Norman hated that he couldn't go with Emma and Ray to Goldy Pond.  And he hated it that he understood why he couldn't go.  

So, like any rational person would, Norman immediately isolated his problems.

And began to work on them.

Like, hard.  

In the bunker, there was a gym, with benchpresses, treadmills, game equipment, etc.  

Norman began working on his problems by starting with what he does best; formulating a plan.  He took his body structure and performed as many medical and fitness tests as he could in the shelter to get a good idea of where he was at, and then made estimates on where he thought Emma would be.

He then tailored a fitness schedule to his body type and began a workout routine.  

Norman would do whatever it took to get the power to protect Emma and Ray when they needed him.

.

.

.

Three days later, Mister came back with a heavily injured Emma.  Norman immediately went to work, using all the medical skills he had learned from Mujika and reading in between workouts.  Anna and Gilda assisted him while he performed the blood transfusion.  

Everything he was afraid of was coming to pass.  He hadn't been there to protect them.  Ray was nowhere to be found.  Emma had barely clung to life and was resting in the infirmary.  

He heaved heavily outside the infirmary doors and fell against the walls, his knees curled into himself and his hands the sides of his face.

Emma was going to die.  Ray was already dead for all he knew.  Everything Sparrow had told him to protect... Everything she'd trusted him with.  

"How disappointing, to think you couldn't even manage to keep them alive.  Now what do you have left?  I'm gone, Emma's gone, Ray's gone.  What do you do now that you're all alone?"  Sparrow's imaginary voice cooed in Norman's head.  

Norman knew logically, before he knew anything else, Sparrow would never say something like that or express anything other than kindness towards him.  He knew.

But it was like one nightmare was following another, and Norman struggled to think clearly as he always did to tell the difference between reality and fiction.  Norman was a mentally strong child, but when it came to his emotions, especially his fear, it interfered with his ability to look at situations objectively.  

Suddenly, a hand fell on Norman's shoulder, and Norman looked up in shock, his eyes puffy and his pupils dilated from crying.  

"He's okay.  Ray told me...  He told me to tell you that he's okay.  He should be back by tomorrow.  Emma'll live as well.  She just needs time to heal."

Norman couldn't tell if he was trying to reassure him or himself, but he nodded and regained his bearings.    

The next morning, Ray returned to the Shelter and explained Goldy Pond and what happened while they were there.  Norman listened to the story, holding back his emotions.  

When Ray was finally done, Norman spoke.  

"The next letter... It was supposed to be opened when you returned," he said slowly, keeping his voice level.  Ray's face hardened and he nodded.  Norman took them to the library silently and settled in a corner, taking out Sparrow's letter.  He then motioned for Ray to come over so they could read.  

Dear Ray and Norman, 

It's not addressed to Emma as well... the two thought before continuing, fighting their rationality and denying what that insinuated.  

There's nothing I can really say to excuse myself when it comes to the situation you are currently in.  But I would like you to know that I, under no circumstances, wanted Emma to be injured.  Leuvis was strong, and Emma's surprise attack at the end was vital.  Leuvis wouldn't have stopped at Emma, he would've killed you all if she hadn't managed to blind him to give you guys an opening.  I wasn't prepared to take the risk.  

Emma will wake up in four weeks.  She'll need a little more time after that to work out of her crutches as well.  But she'll heal safely, and be fine to continue when she's done. 

I know I have no right to ask for forgiveness, and I do not expect to receive it.  I know that with all the knowledge of the future, I should have a solution to this, but I've concluded that there isn't one within my capabilities.  Resent me forever for my weakness, I understand.  No one knows how inadequate my actions are better than myself. 

This will be my last letter.  From here on out, the situation is handled fine without my interference.  Good luck with the rest of your journey.  

And let Emma know that I truly am sorry.  

Farewell,

Sparrow

Without realizing it, Norman began clenching the letter, causing wrinkles to spread on it.

Norman and Ray shared eye contact, not knowing how to feel about this.  

But there was a general consensus.  

"Sparrow is officially a certified dumbass," they said in unison with firm expressions.

Okay, short chapter I know, but we got some ✨spice✨ coming up, so just hold up.  I'm honestly a lil proud of the upcoming chapters, but it's obvi y'alls decision if it's good or not.  Anyway, hoped y'all enjoyed my angst.