Say You Won't Let Go

No words

Lawrence nods to Gally to let him know it's okay to take us. First, Gally was going to show us the city from the outside so we could think of an idea on how to get in. (Since obviously just walking up to the walls would just get you killed.)

"Ah ah ah," Lawrence stops Gally as he's about to go in through a sewer hole? "Only take half, that way I know for sure you'll come back."

Gally nods. "Who's all coming?" He gestures to us.

Thomas steps forward without a word. Clearly he hasn't gotten over their whole rivalry and I can't blame him. But it's also not fair to blame Gally for something he couldn't control. Newt also stands behind Thomas. I look back at Fry, Jorge, and Brenda. Neither of them seem to want to go so I do. Newt doesn't try to fight me this time because clearly that has gotten him nowhere.

Gally puts a foot down the ladder of the hole. "Alright then. Let's go."

"Take care of those three Gally," Frypan stands near us.

"We'll be okay," I try and give him a reassuring smile. Fry returns the gesture. I wait and watch as Thomas follows Gally closely behind, then finally Newt. I zip up my jacket and pull down my sleeves.

"Be careful," Brenda calls out to me as I start my way down.

"Will be," I assure her as I make my way into the darkness.

By the time I get down there, the boys are all standing together. The tension is very obvious as I brush myself off. I take a look at my surroundings and make a disgusted face.

"Ew." I groan realizing we are standing in small puddles of liquid.

Gally chuckles at my reaction. "This way." He leads us down the sewer.

Thomas, Newt, and I trail behind, not fully understanding why Gally's helping us. None of us question it. Hey, help is help. At the end of the wall, Gally finds a door. He opens it and leads us outside. I sick in a deep breath as I take in the city view. If it weren't WICKED's, I'd say it was beautiful. I get a sort of feeling like dejavú as I stare at it.

It looks just like the city from my nightmares. The awful visions that fill my head constantly. That was one of the things that haunted me occasionally. Nightmares. I never stopped having them even after we were at the camp. I talked to someone about them about, after Newt kept insisting, and they told me that it was most likely because of the trauma I had. In them I always lost my friends to the Flare. I'd watch them turn into monsters with black veins and deep cold eyes. They would make horrible shrieks and they'd shout at me. It was horrifying, and when I had these nightmares, I'd wake up panting and sweating. Newt was always there to calm me down, and sometimes he was the one to wake me up. I'm not going to lie, it was shucking awful.

Looking at this city only reminded me of the constant images that filled my head at nights.

I tried to brush it off and followed my friends across a small path. I looked closely and realized it seemed to be the outside of the walls. I ran my hand along the fence that stopped one from falling to the side. I didn't seem to be paying attention when I ran into one of the boys.

"Sorry," I apologize, realizing it was Newt, and all three of the boys had stopped in front of me.

"It's fine love," Newt assures me.

I stand next to him and Gally pulls out a telescope. What the hell do we need that for? Gally sets it up and peers through it.

"I think I might have a plan," Gally says, standing back up and away from the telescope. He looks at Thomas and gestures for him to look through it. Thomas sighs then reluctantly looks through it. He pulls away slowly, never taking his eyes off the largest skyscraper in front of us. Thomas doesn't say a word, which has happened a lot since we met up with Gally. Thomas sighs. "I said I had a plan." Gally speaks, "I didn't say you were going to like it."

Thomas doesn't seem to want to tell us what he saw so I step ahead to take a look myself. I duck down and look through the telescope. It's closed up and though it I can see Teresa. I back away now understanding why Thomas doesn't want to do this.

"It's Teresa," I whisper to Newt as he also takes his turn to look. Just speaking about that shucking betrayer makes my blood boil. I hate her so much for what she did to us, and it pisses me off that Thomas still cares for her, but I also understand. He's in love. Whether he wants to or not, Thomas still cares for her. Even if I don't like that witch, I can't change the way Thomas feels.

So I lean my back on the side of the wall and sigh.

"I know you hate me Thomas," Gally breaks the silence. He leans on the railing. "Trust me I do. But I see chucks face every night. And it haunts me knowing I killed him. And I want you to know that I'm sorry. I really am."

Thomas just stares at Gally.

"If I could change the past I would." Gally keeps trying even thought Thomas doesn't interact at all. I tone out their conversation as Newt also starts to speak.

Rage fills my body as I remember all those who died because of WICKED.

Chuck.
Alby.
Jack.
Winston.
Chuck.
Alby.
Jack.
Winston.

And I sigh, not really having the words to express the anger I feel inside.

I can't lose anyone else.

I've got to keep the rest safe.

I couldn't save everyone.

But I could've at least tried.

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