Total oblivious to the pain between my legs i try sitting up, it's nothing new when i find the bed empty , he isn't anywhere near the bed nor do i hear his footsteps in the bathroom ,he left early, he mostly leaves way before i can wake up most of the times , he doesn't even have specific working hours i wouldn't even know when he will return, i wince immediately my eyes jolting awake all the sleep i had dissappearing, the after effect of sex he said he is just 'opening me up' but this don't feel like that, i rub my eyes standing up from the bloody sheets ,am very much familar with this my mother had already informed me , before i can even peel the sheets off the bed the door swings open ,he is wearing cargo shorts and a black golf tshirt with sandles.
"Let me" he immediately says putting the white plastic he was carrying on the bed "how are you feeling" he asked walking to the walk in closet, he returns with a white sheet.
"Okay i guess" i respond to his question he nods his head clearly not satisfied though "when did you leave " i ask helping him regardless of the death stare.
"I had to fix some few things and passed by phamarcy to get you these" he says pointing at the plastic using his eyes , when he finally takes the bloody sheet off he replaces it immediately.
"When exactly will you stop killing people it's cruel and inhuman regardless no one deserves his life being taken away from him, do you even think about that persons family" i ask he turns looking at me for a moment before he let my question hang in air clearly not even thinking of answering it, when we done with the bed he leads me to the bathroom before opening up the hot and cold water balancing it until the water is cool, am enjoying this side of him , this carrying but i know it's a matter of time , he bring water and the pill which i assume its morning after and am very much greatful because am not ready to become a mother. I take more than an hour in the bath, am enjoying the water before it gets cold and am forced to get out, after doing the necessities i go to the dining room, he is cooking, I've learnt that no matter how much i try i can never beat him in cooking, ofcause he is a chef so i can't expect anything less. "Why are you like this" i ask balancing my weight in the counter.
"Balance me real quick cause i don't exactly understand your question " he says turning away from his cooking to me, he just broke my virginity and we should be happy but not with Shaka Zulu.
"You grumpy, quick to be happy excited and quick to just switch someone off, everything should be your way or nothing at all you controlling " i say shrugging my shoulders he gives me a smile, really a smile shaking his head at me.
"Cause i know what's best for both of us" he says turning back yet again " Muzi no Sthandile will be here in few minutes " he announces not carrying how am receiving the news ,i still need to discuss the school issue with him again, next month its the last months of the year so by next year i should know direction of my life.
"About the school issue" i say playing with the little barely visible nails on my fingers, my mother always repramanded me about this habit but i guess old habits die hard.
"I promised to take care of you angithi ngishilo pho yingani sophinda phinda into eyodwa" ( i told you so now why are we going back and forth about same thing) he says making sure i understood the topic was over it wasn't up for discussion, the door knock made me quick to dismiss myself.
"Baba" Sthandile was the one screaming loudly while she went to hug her father who equally gave a genuine smile hugging her daughter.
"Sthandwa sami uyaphila koda"( my love how are you) he ask Muzi greeted me giving me a small smile atleast someone acknowledge me.
"Ngiyaphile baba , ubaba yena uyaphila"(am okay are you okay) she asked making her father nod in agreement that he was okay.
"Koda ngizophila kanjani lo efuna ukungibulala ngalekinga ahlezi ezifaka kuzo" (how am i going to be okay when this one continues to worry me with his trouble making) he said pointing at Muzi who chuckled greeting his father too. "Uyazi mina nawe mele sikhulume manje ngoba wena sewuzibone umdala"(you know we have to talk since you thought now you old) he said eyeing his son who rubbed his head awkwardly, this relaxed side of him yet was new to me.
"Am starving kudliwani la ekhaya" (what are we eating) Sthandile asked earning a stare from her father , i think she is used to being the princess.
"Sthandile intlonipho yayaphi la kuwena kulesikolo sakho yini le bakufundisa yona "(since when are you this disrespectful , what are they teaching you in this school of yours) he asked.
"Ngiyaxolisa baba "( am sorry) she said before turning to me shyly "sawubona mamncane" she said i nodded greeting back, finally we were all sitting down eating, the table is filled with only Sthandile telling her father about everything while Muzi just comments there and there but he laughs most of all the things , i learned they were staying at boarding school i just kept quite and listen to their endless tales , Shaka was mostly the one entertaining his daughter ,after the breakfast i washed the dishes.
"Muzi can we talk" i said as he was about to leave ,he said he was tired so he wanted to rest , he nodded his head sitting on the bar chairs "the last time we talked you said i should be careful of your father"i was threading careful because i didn't want to scare him off.
"Its just" he sigh loudly "baba is different his has this oppression mindset like a person born in the 50s, his mind works differently, he is a cruel person he doesn't exactly forgive easily and he has anger issues, Aunt Rebecca is fine its all his fault, the trauma she went through, baba has means to take Aunt Rebecca out of that place but he hasn't " he says before pushing his head into his chest "i know he told you everything but he is lying my mother would never kill herself yes she was depressed but she would never do that i know she wouldn't " he said his voice now shaking Shaka cleared his thorat capturing both our attention
"she has attempted it before hadn't she" Shaka said leaning forward the tears roll down from Muzi's eyes.
"Yes but it was different then mama was working on herself she was starting to became the person she once was" he said shaka sighed rubbing his eyebrows.
"Muzi here we both know yes you want someone to blame but the reason its me is because i wasn't in your life for most years of your life , i know this hate between you and Sthandile is because i had infiltrated it , i didn't mean to push you away, angazi ufuna ngithini Muzi, mina la ngiyazama yet wena you not willing to meet me halfway "(i don't know what you want me to say , am trying here) Shaka said i didn't know Muzi hated his only sister the was a lot to unpack in this family. "Kahle kahle Muzi ufunani kimina , mina la ngiyasebenza imini nob'suku ngizamela wena ukuthi udle, wena uyagqoka Muzi impahla ezibizayo to impress labangani bakho ubani loyo imina, leskolo esibizayo ubani okhipha leyomali imina futhi Muzi"(what exactly do you want from me Muzi, i work hard day in day out for you to eat , those expensive clothes your wear to impress your friends who buys them ,its me, that expensive school who pays for it , its me yet again) Shaka says clearly pissed "mina Muzi ngenza izinto la ekhaya for nina kodwa ngeke ungithole nangelanga elilodwa ngikhalaza ngokukhathala, ngeke ungithole nangelanga elodwa ungibona mina Muzi lo osebenza nzima for nina demanding a thank you that you both owe me kodwa wena muzi uyakwazi ume lapho uthi mina Muzi imina engenze unyoko, unkosikazi wami azibulale Muzi angishiye nengane ena-5 Muzi, wena Muzi uyakwazi ukuma lapho ,ugcoke mina Muzi, udla mina Muzi ufune mina ngixolise ngamaphutha la owashoyo Muzi kahle kahle la phakathi kwethu sobabili uwena umzali Muzi, awucabangi nami ngiyakhathala ile attitude onayo"( i do things Muzi for you but you won't find me not even once complaining ,you wont find me the person working hard for you demanding a thank you that you both owe me but you able to stand there and say i made your mother, my wife to commit suicide , i made her leave a 5 year old with me, you can stand there Muzi while i clothed you, fed you demanding an apology with mistake you claim , tell me exactly who is the parent between us, don't you think i too get tired of this attitude of yours) Shaka says sitting down while Muzi stands there looking at his father in the eye. "Am sick and tired Muzi of you behaving like the world owes you something, am sorry you expirience that ,am sorry you lost your mother at that age but you not the first person to lose a parent and certainly not the last , if this attitude of your doesn't stop, if your keep it up then please don't even bother yourself setting foot in my house, if you want me to apologies to you then that's okay I'll do it but please since you old enough now demanding me leave me and my child the one who is actually a child" shaka stood up leaving immediately after that.
YOU ARE READING
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Fantasywhen a young women goes through so much in hope everything will be better, she meets what was suppose to be her saviour, the one who promise her the world but what happens when he becomes her worst nightmare. go through the journey of Liyana.
