You promised

chapter 24

"You've been gone the whole day today" the first words Shaka utters as soon as i enter the door, i don't pay anything he says attention, it's been a month since i lost my best friend as much as things were hard i took one step a day Shaka had been supportive most of the days in his own way sometimes possessive, he lived up to his promise of possessiveness that i didn't pay much attention to anyway , well Shaka and Muzi were trying their own best, Shaka had sat down with Muzi and they talked about their issues , I've managed to convince Shaka to take Muzi for counseling and he did , he was much better now more than when he arrived ,yesterday they went back to school and i was left with Shaka, things were much better when they were here because well i didn't get all the attention to myself we were sharing it ,Muzi and I were very much close because well he had never had a mother figure since well a very long time the only mother he knew was his grandmother, while Sthandile well we weren't close but we were okay , i guess we tolerated each other for the sake of their father. "Where have you been" he questions yet again.

"Getting some fresh air" i respond pushing the shoes i was wearing off my feet, he doesn't look at me for a moment before he shakes his head reprimanding himself as he turns away from the tv looking at me.

"Getting some fresh air, you call leaving the house at 5 in the morning returning few minutes past 7 in the evening taking a break" he is angry i can feel by the tone , how stern his voice is.

"Yeah i needed getting out of the house and i thought why not pass to the mall and do some window shopping , i met some old friend from school and we catch up losing track of time" i shrug my shoulders nonchalantly like he is suppose to.

"Oh you met up with an old friend "he says i nod my head knowing he has cooked, he didn't mind cooking but doing any house work to him was harder than anything especially dishes, pure lies were falling off my mouth but I've mastered the art of hiding the truth from him, he liked being in control and not having control over situation i knew to him wasn't ideal.

"Yeah you need their details to call them" i asked taking the food on the microwave ,he didn't answer me but turned to look at the tv keeping quite, i sigh in relief, i did say no matter what i will go back to school ,and am happy that i was reaching my dreams yet again, i did apply as a returning student at TUT, i knew it was a long journey from joburg to TUT but i would find a way, a plan would formulate itself along time , today i had went to register official i was a student again , i had practically 1 and half year because i did pass my first semester on my second year and failed only the second semester, my classes were starting 8 days from today.

"So when did you arrive " i asked settling down, he wasn't in the mood to entertain me i could see that his day wasn't exactly going great.

"About 4 hours ago" he responds, silence fills the both of us, he is watching one of his documentary shows , so far on our marriage we've managed to be neutral towards each other, we haven't had bad encounters not counting how am reporting each and every move i make should i leave the house which annoys me, my freedom is everything to me and having being dependent on a man isn't my defination of freedom, i don't get allowance, Shaka trust me to handle all the home affairs so i kept the money.

"Plus i had a meeting with the house agent, i went viewing the couple of house's and the was one i liked" i respond honestly, after going to registration i had a meeting with the house agent.

"Oh that's okay anything you like am okay with it" he says nodding his head at me "what is needed from me" he asked.

"Well he is drafting the papers we should expect them in a week "i respond he nods his head at me.

"I want to start prevention " i blurted i wasn't ready for a child yet, i knew he wasn't too because he made sure everytime he bought morning afters, plus i wanted to continue school. my brother was graduating in march since he was done with his law degree ,i was happy that he was admitted for his articles , his girlfriend was now 4 months pregnant, baba gave him an earful , he didn't even consider Gatsha old now but then he got over it, the boys now tease Gatsha calling him 'babakhe' am glad so soon after he got a job since on breaks he had been volunteering on firms, am glad that his son will come when he is able to support him even though he isn't earning much, he was 22 years old now, Mongameli was doing his third year too Baba gave him also an earful since they all in UKZN , baba said Gatsha was also influencing Mongameli in his bad deeds of impregnating women, Gatsha's girlfriend was doing his last year in law also, her parents were disappointed that they kicked her out baba because of his 'grandchild' he took her in only recently had her family started reaching out, Baba didn't want to be involved, my parents just wanted to support her and the child.

"No" was his final answer he didn't even turn looking at me , this is what i hated about Shaka that i didn't have a word in his finale answer.

"Why we both..." he raised his finger at me immediately cutting me so i don't say anything more.

"Don't involve me" he says , i knew he wasn't even considering it, a child would be a complication for now, my brain freezed at that moment, the last time i had my period was 3 months ago way before we got married, i shook my head continuously begging god not to even think of this, my brain tried going back to the last time we had sex, stupid me we never had protection before but i always managed to drink the morning afters the one Shaka brought himself personally , he wouldn't would he.