ARSONIST'S LULLABY ¹ | shadow & bone [ABANDONED]

THREE

( 𝗔𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗧'𝗦
𝗟𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗔𝗕𝗬 )

WATCHFUL EYES AWOKE KATERINA. She had stayed up to converse with Azriel until she had eventually fallen back asleep. Clearly, despite the healed wounds, she was still exhausted.

It was Aleksander, a solemn look on his face, "I shouldn't have let you go."

"It would've happened regardless, you know that." She mumbled.

"But you would not have came back that way you did," He released a breath. "Bleeding out and hanging for you life by a single thread. It should not have been you."

No, it should not have been any of them. None of them deserved the fate they were given. But fate was a cruel thing. Fate that laughed as they stumbled around in the deep darkness scrambling for their lives.

"At least I came back alive. The others... they didn't get the same privilege." Katerina sat up, supported by her elbows. "How many?"

"Four."

"Oh, Saints." A dry sob escaped her.

Four precious souls. Four Grisha souls. Souls she had sworn to protect but failed. There were already so few of them.

Her hands slipped onto her head, gripping at her hair, "It's my fault. It's all my fault. I should've done better."

She was supposed to be strong. The strongest even. It was her responsibility to protect. To defend the Grisha. She had promised to do so on that fateful night. Yet, she had failed miserably. And souls were gone. What use was being the strongest if she couldn't defend her people.

She shifted onto her back, the feathered pillow supporting her. "I... I should've done better, I-"

Aleksander interrupted her, "You did your best. You did your duty and protected who you could, till your last stand."

"But it wasn't enough, was it? Now you've lost one of your strongest Inferni." Natacha. That was all that was running through her numbed brain. Sweet Natacha who had taught her tricks and skills. Who had stolen a ledger of kvas to get drunk the night before she was to stationed off in Shu Han so they could get off their rocker.

"I still have you, I have others. Natacha and Ibrahim may be gone, but they died protecting their people. There's worse ways to go. They were heros."

So that was the other Inferni's name. Saints, how selfish was she? She was so busy feeling bad for herself, she hadn't even thought of the other man. Ibrahim. He has- had, a life too. He probably had friends who were still waiting for him back home. Oh Saints. This was too much. Her first experience had left her this shell-shocked. What good was strength and power if she would quiver at the sight of great enemies.

She swallowed, "I heard the Sun Summoner was found." She started, deciding to avoid the aforementioned topic.

Coward, a small voice whispered at the back of her head.