QuaranDestined

THIRTY-FOUR

"Kuya, may kasalanan ba 'ko sa nangyari?" I asked Kuya Chico while looking at the casket where Chloe's remains lie in state. "Feeling ko kasi, isa rin ako sa root cause kung bakit niya 'to nagawa."

"Please lang, 'wag mong sisihin ang sarili mo," sagot niya. "Walang may kasalanan."

It's been two days na nakaburol si Chloe dito sa chapel na malapit sa bahay ng parents namin. Bukas ay last night na ng wake. Decision ng family namin na hindi na rin patagalin ang days ng pag burol due to quarantine restrictions at pag-iingat na rin na ma-expose masyado ang mga tao sa isa't isa.

"I don't get why this has to happen," I sadly said. "And why she has to die in a gruesome way."

Chloe went to her workplace in the day we searched for her, and the guard thought that she was about to get something in the office, but instead went to the topmost floor, which is the 10th.

And from there, she jumped all the way down.

But what seems to be odd is she fell backwards, facing the sky, so her face was not disfigured.

"Kung alam ko lang na mangyayari 'to, sana nagpatawad na lang ako ng mas maaga. Sana 'di na lang ako nagtanim ng galit." Napayuko ako. "Sana naka-create pa kami ng maraming magagandang memories hanggang sa last days ng buhay niya. O baka nga hindi niya na maisipang gawin 'to kung masaya naman siya. Sana kasama pa natin siya ngayon."

"Sana rin na-check ko kung okay ba siya. Sana pala mas dinalas-dalasan ko ang pangungumusta at pagbisita sa kanila noon," sabi naman ni kuya. "Napakaraming sana na 'di na natin magagawa."

Natahimik kami parehas ni Kuya Chico. That moment, I thought about how short life is. Puwedeng 'yong kasama mo ngayon, hindi mo na kapiling sa susunod na araw at sa mga darating na bukas. And what hurts the most is that even if you tell how much you love the person, or how important the person is to you, they won't hear it anymore because they're gone.

And there's nothing you can do but silently wish that you could have make them feel they are valued and loved, while they're still with you, while you still have the time.

"Anong balak mo kay Cassandra?" tanong ni Kuya Chico. Cassandra is the full name of Cassie.

"Magre-resign na 'ko sa work para mas maalagaan ko siya. Napag-usapan na namin ni Christian and he agreed with me as well," sagot ko.

"Okay lang ba 'yon sa 'yo?" tanong niya ulit. "Ibig ko sabihin, puwede namang sina Mom and Dad muna ang mag-alaga sa kanya."

"Sa akin siya inihabilin ni Chloe," sabi ko naman. "Isa pa, matanda na sina Mommy. They should be just resting, enjoying their retirement."

"Kape muna tayo," Christian suddenly spoke behind us, he came with four cups of coffee in a beverage carrier.

Umupo siya sa tabi ko at inabutan kami ni Kuya ng tig-isang cups.

"Salamat," sabi ni kuya sa kanya.

"Ikaw na magbigay do'n," utos ko kay Kuya Chico as I pouted towards where Jake is. Nakaupo siya sa tabi mismo ng casket ni Chloe.

Kaming apat na lang ang natira sa chapel dahil late night na rin 'yon. Our other family members were asleep and 'yong mga bumisita kanina ay nagsi-uwi na rin.

"Lapitan ko lang, kausapin ko na rin," paalam ni kuya sa 'min. "Kanina pa tulala 'yan diyan, eh."

I nodded and let him. Naiwan kaming dalawa ni Christian.

"Honey, kalmahan mo lang. Parang ang daming tumatakbo sa isip mo, eh." Christian sipped from his coffee cup. "Puwede mo rin namang sabihin sa 'kin."

"I was just thinking na ang ang daming nangyari this year. I lost my long-time relationship, I lost our daughter, and now I lost my sister. My supposed to be wedding was cancelled, only to be married to a different man, and that's you," I told him. "Ikaw ang pinaka-magandang nangyari sa buhay ko ngayong taon."