Race Against Love (on-going)

Chapter 36

ADLER

I missed her every single day. Ayoko sanang umalis nang hindi kami nagkakausap nang maayos noon, pero wala akong nagawa. She shut me down. And I couldn't blame her.

Kasalanan ko ang lahat. Sana umpisa pa lang sinabi ko na ang sitwasyon namin ni Jill. Para hindi niya inisip na niloko ko siya. Kung hindi man niya matanggap ito, at least, hindi siya magagalit sa akin ng ganito.

Pero sa sobrang bilis ng mga pangyayari, hindi agad ako nakapag-isip ng tama. After our first night together, naduwag akong sabihin sa kanya ang totoo. Kasi ayokong matapos agad ang nasimulan namin. Kahit alam kong mali.

Ngayong nagbalik ako, hindi ko alam kung tama ang desisyon ko. Isa ito sa pinakamahirap na desisyong nagawa ko sa buong buhay, to witness her engagement with someone else. I should have done it before the engagement party. What will I do now? Mapipigilan ko ba siyang magpakasal?

Kai has been updating me with news about her. About them. At hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit pinaabot ko pa ng ilang taon bago ako nagdesisyon na balikan siya. Siguro dahil sa mga sinabi niya kay Kai, that she didn't want to talk about me.

Alam kong wala akong karapatang masaktan nang malaman ko ito, dahil mas masakit ang ginawa ko sa kanya. At alam kong nasasaktan pa rin siya nu'ng mga panahong 'yon.

" Mas maigi kong ikaw ang kumausap sa kanya."

I asked help from Kai to explain my situation. About me and Jill. Wala na akong maisip na ibang para magpaliwanag sa kanya kasi ayaw niya akong kausapin. Kai had to tell her everything, from how it started until the time that our marriage was annuled.

" Sinabi ko na kanya ang lahat.  Siguro ang issue na ngayon is how you betrayed her trust. Kung ang issue noon ay kasal kayo ni Jill, ngayon, ang nakikita kong problema, ay kung magtitiwala pa siya sa'yo. And I know that she's trying to move on with - Jhon. At wala na akong magagawa. Pero kung ako sa'yo, talk to her one last time. Para malaman mo kung ano ang saloobin niya. And that is, if you still want to pursue her."

Of course, I always do.

And there's only one way to do this. I had to go back. So when I heard about my dad's partnership with the Sandoval Group, it's like the opportunity fell on my lap. At akalain mong sa line of business pa kung saan siya mismo naka-assign ako mapupunta. And this time, I have to do everything to get to her.

When I asked dad to take over as Vice President for Operations, hindi siya nagdalawang isip. He immediately arranged a meeting with the board. This is my first ever real job after completing my studies. Hindi ito kagaya ng position ko ay manager sa company namin bago ako umalis. Na papasok ako kung kailan ko gusto. This is a joint venture with one of the biggest companies in the country at kailangan kong paghandaan. Pero kapag naiisip ko ang una naming pagkikita after three years, parang ito mas dapat kong paghandaan.

When I first saw her at the party, gusto ko siyang yakapin nang mahigpit. Kahit alam kong hindi pwede. I was contended by discretely gaping at her from afar. The dark blue tube dress that she was wearing made her stand out from the crowd. At hindi ko alam kung ano ang una kong titingnan. Ang maganda niyang mukha o ang makinis niyang kutis. I was brought back to our first night together. How she willingly surrendered in my arms. Her smell, her moan, her body, everything was vivid in my memory. At hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin matanggap na tapos na sa amin ang lahat.

But what struck me most was her smile and the way she gazed at him. Nawalan ng direksyon lahat ng plano ko. How can I plan to steal that smile away from her face? But how can you call it stealing when it was originally mine? Akin lang ang mga ngiti niya. Akin lang siya. At alam kong hindi ako dapat sumuko hangga't wala pa akong sinusubukang gawin.

Ilang linggo na ang lumipas simula nu'ng bumalik ako, at kahit isang beses, hindi ko pa siya nakakausap. Ngayong nakabalik na siya, ayokong nang patagalin pa. I must speak to her.

I pressed the button to my assistant's desk.

"Ica, can you please ask Ms. Sandoval to come?"

She's back after a week's best rest. Nagkatrangkaso daw ito. She was out when I called for a meeting. At hindi ko man lang siya madalaw o kahit makumusta man lang. Ito 'yung mga pagkakataong ako dapat ang nasa tabi niya pero wala akong magawa dahil alam kong wala akong karapatan.

I missed her so bad. At hindi ko makakalimutan ang expression ng mukha niya nang una kaming magkita sa party. As though she was thrilled to see me again. Pero nagbago bigla ang expression na mukha niya. Kahit na lasing siya, I was sure I saw disgust and hate.

At isa lang ang ibig sabihin nito, sa mga taong nakalipas, at kahit na ikakasal na siya sa iba, hindi pa rin niya ako napatawad. Nagdadalawang isip tuloy kung kakausapin ko pa siya tungkol sa nakaraan. Pero kagaya ng sinabi ni Kai, I'd better talk to her. And now I would give it a shot.

Nakapako ang mga mata ko sa pinto. I am counting every minute. I don't want to miss every bit of her when she comes in. At maya-maya pa ay bumukas ang pinto. Her slim figure peeked from the door. I was stunned for a while but I had to regain composure. She's on dark blue dress and her hair is pulled up showing her bare neck and face. Our eyes locked and no one dared to say a word. And since I asked for her, I had to break the silence.

"How are you?"

Kumunot ang noo niya sa tanong ko? Did it sound like it had a different meaning that baffled her?

"Ah, I - okay naman na ako, nakapag-rest na ako." She spoke with a slight smile on her face as she approached me.

"Good," at gumanti ako ng bahagyang ngiti.

She stood right next to my table. Hindi ko alam kung sinadya niya akong lagpasan dahil ayaw niyang humarap sa akin.

"Sorry I wasn't able to attend the meeting last time, pero ginagawa ko 'yung mga reports na kailangan mo -"

"That's not the reason kung bakit gusto kitang makausap."

Her hand was in mid air as she tried to put the folder on my table. Now I know why she chose to be on that side. Para ilapag ang folder sa mesa ko. Iniwasan niyang magkaharap kami, kasi pwede naman niya itong iabot sa akin, pero mas pinili niya itong ilapag sa mesa.

"Ano'ng - dahilan?"

Nanatili siyang nakayuko na tila wala siyang balak na tingnan ako.  But I need to see her eyes and her reaction sa sasabihin ko. Kaya hindi ako sumagot. At napilitang siyang humarap sa akin na tila nainip sa hindi ko pagsagot. And that's when I spoke.

"I just want you to know that..."

She straightened up as she waited me to finish.

"I came back for you."

***

Thank you so much for reading! ^_^