Race Against Love (on-going)

Chapter 8

ADLER

"Sumama ka na. Trust me, hindi ka magsisi."

At kumindat pa ito. Alam ko ang tumatakbo sa utak niya. Beach means girls in bikinis. But I'm not interested. If I want see to someone wearing one, isa lang ang babaeng pumapasok sa isip ko. And knowing she won't be there, this whole thing doesn't excite me at all.

Ilang araw na niyang bukambibig ang outing na'to. This will be held in a private resort in Batangas. Pag-aari raw ito ng pamilya ng isang estudyante niya sa Kyokushin. Siya lang ang invited, at pwede siyang magsama. So, he's bugging me to come.

Since wala naman akong gagawin at makulit siya, kaya sumama ako. It's just a one-night stay, so I brought a half-full backpack.

"Ayokong sumabay sa shuttle bus. Sasabay tayo sa van nila Darwin. At dun ako sa dulo," makahulugang sabi nito.

Hindi ko pinansin ang sinabi niya. It's like he's brewing something naughty. And he can stay in the compartment, for all I care. Bahala siya.

For some reason, kaya ako sumama dahil ayokong mapag-isa. My mind is filled with things lately. Or shall I say, she's been on my mind most of the time. And I know I'd be lying if I say this trip will be enough to erase her from my mind, even for now.

There must be something wrong with me.

I told her to forget about everything. And I know she was trying. She remained in Lex's Kyokushin morning session. And I was disappointed. I was hoping she'd go back to my evening class. Pero hindi niya ginawa. At umiiwas ito tuwing nagkakasalubong kami.

I asked her to avoid me. To forget about me. But why am I hoping she'd to the opposite?

At bakit hindi ako ang gumawa ng mga ito? Bakit hindi ko siya iwasan at kalimutan?

Because I can't.

I won't.

And I should be ashamed of myself. Because I can't even get her off my mind. Kahit isang saglit, hindi siya nawala sa isip ko.

She kept her promise. Umiiwas siya kapag nakikita niya ako. And I avoided to look at her, like she's naked. Gaya ng sinabi niya. But in my mind, she always was. And I won't get tired spending the rest of my days thinking about what could've happened if I didn't stop. What we had, it's still fresh in my memory. How her head thrown back when I claimed her peaks, with her fingers digging on my shoulders. And I couldn't forget her eyes filled with fear and unnamed passion when I entered her. And I wonder how it feels like if I thrust deeper.

I want her to avoid me before I forget how young she is. And I almost did. Ayokong lumabas na nagta-take advantage ako sa kanya. And I wa surprised by her being inexperienced. I let her experience  her first most intimate moment with a man. Knowing no one's touched where I've touched, and kissed where I've kissed, my heart flipped and I just can't make it stop. And the more I think about her, the more I felt so alone and something's missing.

"Hey, I thought you're not coming," malambing na sabi ni Lex sa kausap.

Lumingon ako. She's as surprised as I was.

Pilit ang ngiti nito kay Lex. "Wala rin kasi akong gagawin."

I never thought na sasama siya. Seeing her made me almost greet her with a smile. Pero pinigilan ko ang sarili ko. I had to pretend unaffected by her presence. She avoided my gaze and I had the liberty to scrutinize her. She's in a light blue denim shorts with those pockets sticking out. Kung iba ang magsusuot nito, I'd find it ridiculous. Sometimes I hate to see girls wear those stuff. Pero sa kanya, it's kinda rugged yet sexy. Her casual confidence hit me the first time we met. And that's what she's doing, casually flaunting her toned and long legs. She's so fuckin' hot. I can still  imagine how those legs desperately wrapped around my waist while I was inside her.