Race Against Love (on-going)

Chapter 5

REESE

"Ano, sasama ba tayo? Minsan lang 'to. Chance mo nang makita siyang naka-trunks," nakangisi si Kai at nakanguso kay Adler na kausap si Miranda.

The PE Department will be having the annual getaway. At invited ang mga outsider's club, kasama ang Kyokushin. This is usually held before the school year ends.

"I don't know. Wala ako sa mood. Matagal pa naman 'yan. Malay mo magbago pa ang isip ko," sagot ko habang nakatingin pa rin sa kanila.

I know Miranda likes him too. Hindi naman ako inis sa kanya dati, pero hindi ko naman siya gusto. At dahil may gusto siya sa Adler, naiinis na ako sa kanya. We seldom talk. When we do, mostly it's about school stuff. But after the hallway incident, we never talked.

Napatingin si Adler sa gawi namin ni Kai. Our eyes met, pero ako ang unang nagbaba ng tingin. That day I saw him kissing that girl, I saw a picture of a perfect couple. So perfect that it hurts. At ayokong maging photo bomber. So I should avoid him. Sabi ko dati, wala akong pakialam kung my girlfriend siya. But I realized, hindi ko pala kayang mamagitan sa isang relasyon. Ayokong ako ang maging dahilan ng paghihiwalay nila.

I tried to avoid him. I ignored him in any possible way I can. I have to forget all the plans I have just to get him. Pero palabiro ang tadhana. And last week, I saw him with my Dad. I was so pissed, yet it was the best nights of my life because I had the chance to get closer to him. I mean, physically. I wasn't drunk that night. Para lang akong lasing kasi mahina ang tolerance ko sa beer. But mentally, I was perfectly fine. I knew exactly what happened then.

Kung dati iniisip ko kung ano'ng pakiramdam nang makulong sa mga bisig niya, now I knew. And it's not even closer to what I imagined. I was warmly wrapped in his muscled arms as my head rested on his firm chest. His heartbeat was normal while mine was thumping so fast. It was the most intimate moment I had in a guy. And I've never felt so safe and protected. There was a moment when I deliberately pressed myself to him. He must've felt it as he locked me in his arms tight, not wanting to let me go. At para hindi ako mapahiya, I tried to push him away.

I pretended to be asleep when I heard his offer to take me upstairs. And he lifted me like a feather. Just like when he carried me to his shoulders. His touch made me shudder and I almost opened my eyes when he slightly touched my lower lip. I was thinking what's going to happen when I did. Bakit niya ginawa 'un? Halos maloka ako sa kaiisip. Was he going to kiss me if Daddy wasn't there? Even when he's gone, I could still smell his faint perfume. And it was so hard to sleep.

After that, he's always on my mind. How can I avoid him when he's always I think of? At ang nakakainis pa, parang nagiging paborito niya ako nitong mga nakaraang araw. Tulad kanina, we were sparring partners again. Hindi naman ako makatanggi. I can't focus and can't even throw a good punch. Not when he's eyes were all on me.

Lagi niya akong tinatawag, kinakausap at lagi siyang nakatingin sa akin. Kasi lagi rin akong nakatingin sa kanya.

Kagaya ngayon.

" Nakatingin siya sa'yo girl," kilig na sabi ni Kai.

I took one last look at him. At nakatingin nga ito. O napatingin lang.

"I don't think so. Kita mong aliw na aliw kausap ang malanding 'yan."

Malandi sa paningin ko ang lahat ng babaeng mangitian o makausap niya. Kahit na wala naman silang ginagawang masama. Alam kong wala akong karapatang humusga o magalit sa mga babaeng 'yun. It's because I thought I had a first claim on him when I first saw him, this possessive feeling stays with me. Hanggang ngayon. Even when I said I have to avoid him.

"Oo nga, kausap niya si Miranda pero sa'yo nakatingin –" natigilan si Kai. "– at ayan, papalapit na siya."

And he's in front of me. If I can control my heart beat, ginawa ko na. So I just held my breath. Hanggang kailan ako magiging ganito tuwing lumalapit siya? Lagi na lang ba akong iiwas ng tingin? At dahil d'yan,  nahagip ng mga mata ko ang nagpupuyos na si Miranda. At sobrang saya ko na makita siyang nanggagalaiti sa galit. Nakaganti rin ako sa kanya kahit papano.