Hung Up On The Stars • ChenJi

twenty seven

When he reaches the park, he could already see Chenle sitting on the bench playing something on his phone to show his early appearance to Jisung's invite. Chenle, for second looks at his surroundings, toddlers playing on the slide, an old couple giving each other a hand of support while walking, and a woman feeding her infant admiring the beauty of nature and the warmth spread everywhere.

He makes an inward word to himself that none of these things would change if Chenle didn't like him.

And that his heart or mind state shouldn't change too.

He informs himself that when, in the future, Chenle decides to date somebody else, he would support him completely by not turning away his responsibility from being a friend just because of being turned down for being a lover.

He believes he has full rights to be Chenle's friend and that even God or Chenle can not grab the privilege of having that.

With heavy steps and heart, he steps towards Chenle who sat in between the blooming daffodils which bloomed with a higher hope of growth than his love.

But.

However.

He decides that it's was is for best to share his feelings and he can't lie to Chenle, not when he trusts Chenle for life, not when he loves Chenle for life.

Jisung places his sweaty hands in his pockets breathing out for a while and making his best to collect all the pieces of courage present in every cell of the body, and forcing a smile out of his mouth.

As he reaches Chenle, he offers his seat and asks him to sit down beside him and Jisung does so.

Chenle was the first one to speak in the peace of the cold breeze, under the dark clouds heavy with the condensed matter and ready to break down in any situation if forced to.

"The weather is quite dull today," Chenle says.

"Yeah. It's kinda gloomy."

"Still less gloomy than you," Chenle says with lips turning sideways forcing out a smug smile.

"Uhh. Well..." That is all Jisung answered with dancing fingers.

"What happened to you? Why dull?"

"Not like that, just... Nervous."

"Nervous?"

The curious face of Chenle reminds him of Chenle's face when he was younger when they just met when they were only eight, still naive and happy and certain.

He wishes he could go back in time to experience those lively moments again before it gets too late.

"You wanted to say something? Well, it's kinda weird, that you had to call me somewhere to talk," he awkwardly rubs his head and laughs, "we could talk in school or on call, this makes me feel like we came for the meeting or- yeah"

"It is definitely weird," Jisung agrees with a hollow expression.

"Yeah I guess but no problem," Chenle smiles.

Jisung takes a sharp breath, and takes one of Chenle's hands and rubs his fingers slowly and trying to speak but his mouth was opening and then closing because of the fear again.