You make a deal with your ex-coworker, Kim Namjoon, where you give him pleasure, for money. But the relationship that was meant for pleasure, and pleasure alone, soon turns into much more as you find yourself falling for him...
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• BTS RM AU.
...
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That night, you lie in bed. Multiple covers were on your body, but you still felt cold, chills lining your body as it shook restlessly.
You had been trying to fall asleep, but the cold air, and Namjoon, who had been engraved in your brain, caused you too much inconvenience to do so.
The way he talked about his past, pain and sorrow threatening his usually deep, husky voice. The way his eyes closed and hands shook anxiously as he relived what he had previously tried so desperately to forget so that he could tell you. The way he looked at you with the softest eyes, knowing that you were trying your hardest to understand him, though you'd never felt the exact pain he did. The way he was so kind to you.... mostly.
Namjoon wasn't a bad guy. And you knew. Yes, he shoved you away from him, but you knew that he hated feeling emotions. He hated feeling vulnerable, and he despised opening up. All of those things had happened today, and he tried to recollect himself by pushing you away, annoyed with the way he felt...
Scared.
That was a better way to describe him.
He was scared. He was scared you'd use his vulnerabilities against him and would tell people about his issues. He was scared of your abilities. And he was scared that when he told you earlier, he had said too much, and you'd do something to hurt him.
He didn't trust you.
Ah!
That was it!
You needed him to trust you. You needed him to understand that you'd never hurt him. You needed him to let himself go to you.
That way, he'd feel calm, and know that you won't hurt him. He'd feel happy for once, knowing he had someone to talk to.
Because every time that he opened up, he seemed so relieved; calm, and you wanted him to see you as constant relief. Not just through sex, but through talking...
And you began thinking about the way he talked about himself.
"I'm... I'm a fucking monster."
"You have no idea who you got yourself involved with."
No, he wasn't a monster. He was just scared. He was his terrified of the way felt, and didn't know how to control himself. He tried to get rid of those emotions through sex and violence, and he hated himself for it.
This poor man. He had no control over himself, and didn't deserve to feel that way.
"You're not a monster, Namjoon," you said to yourself, thinking about him as you huddled farther into your blankets. "You're not a bad guy..."
He didn't deserve that. He deserved love...
And you'd give it to him.
Yes, you knew it was against the deal to feel things other than lust towards him, and you didn't want to admit that you did feel anything but that towards him.
It was just that, when you looked at him, you felt your heart flutter and your wanted nothing more than to see him smile. When you talked to him, you wanted nothing more than to let him know that you'd always be there for him.
And yes, you'd get yourself into so much trouble if he found out the way you felt about him, but you'd hide it. The best you could, at least.
You'd make him fall for you. You'd make him feel the same way about you that you did him. And you'd do anything to do so...
You're the devil, Kim Namjoon, but I'll be your angel if that's what it takes for you to love me.
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Haha. 😃
I'm unsure of this chapter. That's why I was so reluctant to publish it, but whatever.
