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Part 9: Move

He stares at me for a long time and doesn't say anything.

He doesn't want me to be his friend.

Well that's rich.

All the times he's told me he needs me.

All the times he's begged me to stay.

"I'm such an idiot, Max." I say this and he just stares at me. "I'm so stupid, because my biggest mistake was allowing my heart to fall in love with you."

His lips part and he just looks at me- his breathing becoming labored slightly.

"I took your words and I made myself believe that you actually meant them the way they sounded. How fucking sick is that? I talked myself into believing you felt the same way and as it turns out I was wrong—this whole time. Now it's not even that you don't have any romantic feelings for me- you just don't like me altogether. Don't even want me as your friend. Well don't worry, Max...I won't allow my heart to make those mistakes again." My tears slide fast down my cheeks and I can't bring myself to look at him. I turn and face the window. "I'm so stupid..."

I hear him move behind me- but I don't turn to watch him go.

I can't.

I open my eyes as I feel his arms wrap around me from behind.

"Will you shut up for five minutes and not interrupt me?" He quietly says against my head.

"Leave me alone." I snap back at him.

"I'm trying to tell you how I feel about you."

"You've made it very clear how disgusted I make you feel. I don't need..."

"Helen, I'm trying to tell you something and you just keep talking over me!! For fuck sake's!!!" He squeezes and shakes me slightly against his chest. He forcibly turns me around and cups my cheek in his hand and holds onto my waist. My lips part and I search his eyes. Unable to move or think. "You're pissed off I won't ever speak up and the one time I try you keep interrupting me."

I say nothing and he sighs and closes his eyes momentarily.

"I'm not good expressing myself to you- Helen. My tongue gets tied, my heart beats so hard it hurts and my stomach flops constantly that I feel I may be sick. On top of it all, when you look at me with those expectant doe eyes- I forget all I want to say to you. I don't have the words, Helen. I don't." He struggles to get through that much and my heart just beats hard in my chest. "Fuck the words."

Pressing his lips to mine quickly, he pulls my front to his while his left hand now cradles the back of my head as his right hand slides up and down my back. My tension melts from my body and I grab ahold of his scrub top- fisting it in my hands. Backing me up a bit, I hit into the bureau and feel his front press to mine. His hands now comes up and he holds both sides of my face as he presses his forehead into mine and pulls back from the kiss. Sighing he opens his eyes and stares into mine.

"That....that is what I have been trying to say...for while now." He sighs again looking between my eyes. "I want you to be more than just my friend, Helen."

My chest rises rapidly and I don't know what to say. My eyes just begin to well again and I can't stop it.

"Come're." He sweetly says and pulls me flush to his body. His arms wrap around me and his hands slide up and down my back, slowly massaging me. "I'm sorry it took this long to get here."

He quietly whispers to the top of my forehead as he presses a kiss there.

"I'm sorry I made you feel like it was all a joke. It wasn't...I promise you it wasn't. I just want us back. I want you back." His sweet words are accompanied with little kisses and a back massage with his hands. Looking up at him, I shakily reach up and hook my hand on the back of his neck.