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Part 16: Falls

No one moves or says anything.

My heart pounds hard in my chest.

Mumma.

She called me Mumma.

Lord, she shouldn't have done that.

I look at Max and feel my heart swell with fear that this is it.

This is where my perfect world burns down.

"Bouss." Looking up at her father, Luna wants him to begin bouncing again. She looks at Mina and waves her arms up and down. "Bouss Mi."

When she looks back towards me, her beautiful little face breaks my heart.

"Mumma, bouss..." Backing up, I can't be here. Under Max's gaze. Under his breaking heart. Walking around him, I  get to the stairs and hustle down them, unlocking the front door and getting out of the apartment building. My heart won't stop beating so fast. Crossing the street, I get into the park and walk a bit before finding a bench. I can't breathe. I can't even think straight.

I never wanted this to happen.

I never wanted Luna to call me that or any other name of the sort because that belongs to Georgia.

That name will always belong to her.

Even if Max and I continue this and it leads to us living together or getting married- probably not- I still would never expect Luna to call me her mum.

Sitting on a bench, I try to catch my breath. Leaning forward on my propped up hands, I stare at the pavement below my feet.

This is awful.

Anything that could be between Max and I had been destroyed and thrown out. Closing my eyes, I take a few deep breaths. Hearing footsteps coming down the walk, I try so hard to compose myself.

In my view two tiny blue shoes appear. Looking up, I find a little black boy looking at me curiously.

"Hello..."

"Hi...." He quietly says and touches one of my braids.

"Where's your mummy or daddy?" I ask and he shrugs. "How old are you?"

"Two." He holds up four fingers and I can't help but laugh.

"What's your name?"

"Carter."

"That's a wonderful name. I'm Helen."

Carter!!!!

Looking down the wall, I find a frantic mother running towards us and from the other direction a frantic white man.

Carter!!!

"Mummy and Daddy are coming. You best stay here until they get here." They get closer and the black woman looks at me as if I'm trying to steal her son. "He wandered over to me."

"Thank you. He snuck away from the playground.There were so many kids, his father and I lost track of him." Smiling, I look down at the boy and he smiles at me before his mother grabs his hand.

"There he is! Jees, Carter- you scared us." His father says as he comes jogging up.

"Thank you for keeping an eye on him." The woman looks at her husband and nudges him slightly. Taking out his wallet, he goes to hand me a twenty and I wave him off.

"No problem. You don't have to pay me. If one of my kids wandered off- I would hope someone would keep them safe." I say casually and they look at me.