tonight | dnf

chapter seventeen.

George pat dried his hair as he looked in the steamy bathroom mirror. He had pushed himself to get out of bed and take a shower, feeling noting but pure disgust. But he couldn't recognize himself when he entered the bathroom. His skin was more pale than usual, dark circles made home under his tired eyes. He didn't understand that part, he'd been sleeping so much, why would he have such dark eyebags? Maybe it was due to oversleeping, he couldn't remember where but he could remember being told it was possible. 

George tore his gaze from the mirror, he knew if he looked any longer he'd be there for hours just psychoanalyzing every small difference in his features, thinking out every reason they could be there until he wore himself out.

Kicking his clothes to the corner, he left the bathroom and was on to do more with his day. He had a set plan for today. First step was actually leaving bed, something easier said than done, which he'd managed to do. Second was shower and eat something, which he had also done. Step two was harder than one, he struggled to keep the food down after eating, but he did and was onto the next thing. 

He needed to get out of the house and go somewhere--anywhere. It didn't matter to him, as long as he left.

He wondered what Sapnap was doing as he tied up his converse. Maybe he was out with a friend, keeping his mind off of everything. Maybe he was taking a walk down the trios favorite nature trail, or maybe he was laying in bed watching TV. He figured he'd go visit and check up on him sometime soon like he'd done for him. George blew Cat a kiss before he locked up the house. 

He started walking down the street. He wasn't sure where he was going but he didn't stop. Matter of fact, he found himself progressively going faster and faster until he was at a jogging pace. It was a nice stress reliever, an easy way to blow off steam. It was like his body was on autopilot, he couldn't stop going down this familiar street--all the way to a dead end.

He had a choice. He could turn around, potentially go to Sapnaps house or just to his own. Or, he could continue the way he was going. If he left it could save him some pain, if he stayed? It was probable he'd be even more hurt seeing what he'd been avoiding. Reality. 

He made his choice the second he pushed open the bushes and walked into the clearing. It looked untouched, the exact same him and Dream left it from the log in place to the blossoming tiger lillies. 

George walked further into the area to a large oak tree that stood strong in the middle, his eyes settled on engravings in the bark of the tree, bringing back older memories and a lot of unexplained anger. He didn't know what he was most angry at--maybe the universe taking away Dream, maybe Dream for leaving him--for getting in the car that night, maybe at himself for more than one reason. 

He just wanted Dream back. He would give anything to go back and change something. 

"To the moon and back, right?" He whispered to himself, angry at the world, angry at Dream. Angry at everything. 

--

He found himself running again. But this time he had a destination, he knew exactly where he was going, what he was going to do and who he was going to visit. This was maybe the best way to start accepting the fact he was gone. He had to see the other person who was involved in the accident. 

He didn't even know what he wanted to say to her, was there even right words for these situations? He was clueless, maybe he was trying to convince himself this was reality because a part of him still hoped these last 3 weeks were some awful dream that wouldn't end--and maybe if this was a dream seeing that the other victim of the crash wasn't real would snap him out of it. 

He walked past many sick and injured people and made his way up to the front desk which is when another problem occurred. He had absolutely no clue what the woman's name was or any way to find her. 

"Can I help you?" The lady behind the desk asked as she rolled her chair up to the counter. 

"Yeah, so the thing is I'm here to visit someone but I don't know their name." He shifted his weight foot to foot, trying not to think about how dumb he must sound right now. He was glad everyone else had something better to do then listen to him, he'd probably get laughed at. 

"Uh huh, and tell me how I'm supposed to know who you want to see? I'm no mind reader."

George could feel his face get hot and flushed with embarrassment, his ears burning. "Well, I could tell you the accident they were in and the date? Surely it wouldn't be too hard to figure out." In his mind he was praying and hoping she would agree to it so he didn't look like more of a fool. 

She rolled her eyes and sighed, rolling the chair a few inches over so she could she her laptop more clearly. "Okay, go on." 

George thought for a second, "3 weeks ago, exact. It was a car accident--"

She tapped away on her laptop quicker than George could speak. "Guess its your lucky day," She interrupted, handing him a clipboard and a pen. "We don't get multiple patients a day from that, just fill this out for me and you can head up to room 126." 

George nodded and started to fill out the form, writing down all of his information until he stopped at the last box--asking him his relationship to the patient. He quickly scribbled down that he was a friend and handed the clipboard back. In return he was given a visitor pass, which he also quickly filled out and stuck to his shirt.

After getting the okay to go, George took off up the stairs. He'd always preferred them over elevators since they would get cramped, they were awkward, and personally he just thought stairs were faster. Plus, he was only going to the first floor. 

He got to the first floor pretty quickly, not giving himself a second to breathe before he was walking down the hall at a fast pace. He passed people in wheelchairs, nurses rushing to rooms, sick folk all as he scanned the number plates on the wall.                      

121..

122.. 

Every number closer made George regret coming more and more. 

123..

124..

Because deep down he knew that this wasn't some bad Dreams. He was dead, he had been for 3 weeks and seeing some lady who had fallen victim to his drunk driving laying in a hospital bed wouldn't change anything. 

125..

126. 

George stopped in front of the door. This was like a repeat of earliers choice, going in and fixing something in himself or leaving an saving himself the pain.

He looked around himself like he wasn't supposed to be there before opening the door and heading inside. 

On the small bed was a woman who was asleep. She hadn't looked like George expected, but to be fair he didn't even know what he expected. She had longer brown hair, lighter than Georges with a few stripes of yellow. On her face were mostly butterfly bandages to help the cuts heal themselves, there was some mild bruising too. It made his heart ache to think about how unknowing she was to the accident. Maybe she had kids to go pick up, maybe she was going on a road trip to meet her lover, whatever it may be she didn't deserve this. 

He wanted to be mad at her instead of Dream, but he couldn't he knew that was unfair. She'd done nothing wrong.

She moved around in bed, slowly waking up. Perhaps it was from George staring at her and her brain detected it, but he figured he should get out of there before she fully woke up and started asking questions. What he need more? A coffee.