What The Future Holds

Chapter 2: clear as real

As soon as the curtains rose the audience went crazy. Amongst their loud cheers and claps, shefali's voice was barely heard.
"Thank you so much for doing this interview shehnaz, I was so looking forward to this day"
"Haha. Thank you. I've felt the same way too. Very excited." Shehnaz waved at the audience.
"So shall we begin?"
Shehnaz leaned forward and smiled revealing her bunny teeth.
"Let's do it". She said confidently.

"A lot of things happened in you're life ever since you were a part of biggboss season 13. It's been 3 years now. What would you like to say about you're journey so far?"
"It's been a hell of a ride." Shehnaz,spontaneous as she is, never needed time to answer. She continued. "When I entered biggboss, I did dream of a better a life, a better career, I would be lying if I said I didn't expect anything. Expect, I did and the crazy part is I got everything i wanted and even more. Biggboss 13 was definitely my turning point , a game changer if you can say so. But I would be lying if I tell you I was totally fine. I was excited, yes, but equally nervous.
I didn't know how people would react if they saw me.
I still remember my first press interview that I did. It was on biggboss and it was very scary too. And the questions they asked made my stomach churn and I wasn't able to answer the way I wanted to. It made me feel humiliated. I remember I had cried a lot too. So I was very nervous wondering what I'll do once I get out. A part of me was really happy being the second runner up, she was full of hope, but the other part of me was in total agony. But I remember, once I got out of the set, the love that people gave me,when I unlocked my phone for the first time after a long time, so many texts,messages,calls. Aaghh" Her eyes watered a little.
"Even today I remember it all so clearly, 'Clear as real' haha"
she laughed.
"It's a joke only bigg boss fans can understand" Shefali said, looking at the camera and laughed along. The audience clapped in harmony.
Shehnaz smiled and continued,
"And then it was all just one after the other,i grew more confident of myself and realised I'm very close to fulfilling all my dreams. So I decided to give it my everything,work hard and focus on my career. It is exactly what I did. And here I am, Hehe". She gestured towards the stage and chuckled.
Shefali looked impressed with the way this girl has improved herself. She collected herself a bit and said,
"It is true that you have worked really hard. You've achieved new milestones, broken records after records like no other biggboss contestant in history. Some say that your name is literally now as big as the show biggboss itself, would you agree to that?"
"Ammaa"
Shehnaz said ,her eyes wide open her hands on her face with sheer surprise. There was a loud cackle from the audience. They sure did miss her 'ammaa'.
"As big as biggboss? Me? She laughed. I don't know about that. That'd be really great though if it was true. But no, I personally don't think anyone can be as big as that show. I have a lot of respect, and love for the show, I consider it above my own self. Because like I said, it's given me so much. And not just me,everyone else whose been a part of it has gotten pretty succesful in their respective careers.So I don't really think you can compare me with a show that gives a chance, even a second chance to so many people. If you say that I've got a big name , I owe it all to bigg boss and the people who supported me throughout my journey, my shehnazians and sidnazians."
She closed her eyes,her lips curved to a proud smile,kept her hands on her chest, a gesture showing how important her fans are to her.
"Aww" The fans clapped .
"That's so sweet", shefali said. "But you're success wasn't just because of you're fans and the show. You've worked hard like crazy. MV's after MV's , adds and webseries ,and now you've just finished you're second movie. And all of this just in 3 to 4 years? Not a lot of people can do everything that you've done . That's really impressive shehnaz." Shefali was always proud of her.
"Well, yeah. Thankyou for the praises. Haha." Shehnaz blushed.
"I guess 3 to 4 years is not alot, but you see my life took it's turn living just 4 months in biggboss. Whereas before biggboss ,I had to struggle for years to get a proper gig. So you see I understood the importance of time. I hate the thought of wasting it. So every time I get an opportunity, I intend to make the best use of it."
"Wow! That's amazing shehnaz"
Shefali couldn't beleive her eyes. What a change!
She continued, "you needed just few years to bring such a drastic change in you're career. But has these years changed you in anyway on a personal level? I have heard some people complain that the old shehnaz was more cuter, sweeter, that the new one is not that much because now you're slim. Some say the new one is better and the old one was not. Some praise you're language skills, while some say it's still bad. What is you're say in this matter?"
Again spontaneous shehnaz didn't need time to think.
"Well I guess change is inevitable. But isn't it also fun? It's exciting. Remaining the same is boring.Change is a good thing. I must agree that im definately not the person i was 4 years ago and if I have changed anything about myself I did it for my own well being and self satisfaction. Being slim was something I've always wanted to be so i stopped eating too much,did a little bit of dieting,started going to the gym. I used to hate going to the gym,but once I got the hang of it, somewhere I started enjoying it.( I wrote this part because I've felt that being slim or fat is her decision and people should stop judging her for it.)And when it comes to language, first I worked on my hindi. My hindi always had a punjabi slang to it, in fact I still have it. I'm not ashamed of it or anything but as I'm now part of the bollywood industry I had to work on hiding it for the movies because the slang wouldn't match the roles that i get. I watched a lot of hindi serials and movies to learn it. I also used to call a few of my friends from mumbai so i could learn their dialect. It was fun. I did it all for my role. It was for my first bollywood debut movie. I wanted to give my 200 percent in it. I won't say I'm perfect at it, but I know I'm getting there".
"And I must tell you you did a fantastic job in it" Shefali smiled
"You think so?" Even the smallest compliment made shehnaz feel good.
"Haha. Obviously. Everyone loves you sana " Shefali replied sweetly.
"Thank you"
"Has working on you're hindi helped you in any other way? "
"Yes. It helped me express myself more clearly. I used to have a hard time trying to clear my point, especially in biggboss if you have noticed, I found it very hard to find the right words. But now I don't seem to have that problem anymore. I'm pretty fluent. So now I'm confident in my speaking skills, so interviews doesn't scare me the way they used to."
"And you're English speaking skill has improved so much shehnaz. It was the talk of the town a few months before when you did another interview. How did you make that possible?"
"Yeah along with hindi I worked on my english too. I did the same thing. Watched alot of movies. Honestly reading is not my thing, but I am trying to read books. It's good for improving vocabulary. But yeah watching movies and series are more fun. I would call ken, my best friend, and we would talk in english all the time. Even in set, he'd talk with me in english. He is an amazing friend. He's supported me through thick and thin"
Suddenly memories flashed before shehnaz.
"Ken,I'm so tired of all this. I can't seem to find an exit. Please save me." She was crying for hours in her room. Ken called her just to see if she was okay. Hearing her words, Ken ran to his car and head straight to her apartment. "Shehnaz, it's me open the door". After what seemed like hours, shehnaz finally opened the door. She looked terrible. Her mascara was all over her face except her eyes where it should have been. Ken cannot stand to see her hurt. She is his best friend. He hugged her tightly. "Forget it shehnaz. Don't do this to yourself."
"I can't, I miss him so much Ken. I don't think I can live a life without siddharth. I've never felt so helpless." She has been trying so hard not to think about it. Keep it in. It's alright. Youre fine. You don't need sidharth. She kept telling herself. But memory can be a boon and a curse. Right now it was a curse for her. Because she somehow saw sidharth in everything she did, everywhere she went and in everyone she loved. Even when Ken was hugging her, she remembered sidharth, he used to hug me,tighter than this, and it felt a thousand times better when It was him. Suddenly she felt angry she was comparing him even with her best friend. Ken slowly loosened his grip, because now shehnaz had stopped crying. She wasn't making any noise. He leaned back to see her face, "oh my god. Shehnaz? Shehnaz?"
"Shehnaz?"
Shefali glared at shehnaz. She has been calling her for the 100th time and shehnaz seemed to be in some other world.
"What happened! Are you alright? "
"Water",Shehnaz said,"You know it's been a while, since ive done these interviews. I'm just a little nervous."
Suddenly a young boy out of nowhere ran to her with a bottle. She gulped the whole bottle within seconds. "Thank you. I'm fine now"
Clearly im not fine. It's never fine. I'll never be fine. She thought to herself.
I was never someone who lied. And now I just lied through my teeth. It's true. I have changed. She looked around and found the curtains had dropped. They were taking a small break, but she had been so lost in thoughts she didn't remember when shefali had announced a break.
"Well then, shall we continue?"
"Yes. We can continue."
"You look a bit dull".
Another boy ran to her and redid her makeup.
'Now let's get on with it then. "
Shehnaz watched the curtains rise up again.