The next morning

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I woke up my head was splitting, I rolled over "holy shit" Joey is in my bed. I dont remember anything after we started talking. I raised the blanket oh my god were naked I know we didnt do anything. Joey began to stir and he wraps his arm around me pulling me close.

"Morning Beautiful"

"Jesus Christ what happened last night?"

"You dont remember?"

"No"

"We talked and had some dinner, I was going to call a Uber to leave and you told me I could stay. We put on a movie and kissed and you climbed in my lap and told me to fuck you, and well yeah we had sex."

"Oh my god, how could I do this"

"Well you rode my dick like you owned it so you wanted it as much as I did."

"Jesus"

"why are you so upset over it?"

"we arent even together, were suppose to be over how can I let this happen."


I grabbed my head now it was hurting worse.

"You okay?"

"My head is killing me and im nausous as shit."

"Well stay here Ill run downstairs get us some Tylenol and a bottle of water."


I watched him slid out from under the comforter, I couldnt help but to watch his body as he walked out the door. I just cant believe I slept with him, I didnt even want to talk to him. Now Im sitting here questioning everything all over again, do I want it to be done, can I get passed him walking out on me the day of our wedding.


I slid from the bed and headed down stairs to get us tylenol, I didnt say it to Bella but Im hungover too. I cant believe she is saying she doesnt remember last night. We made love for hours and she said that she loved me and now nothing. I thought we were working it out, when she asked me to stay and we made love all night I was so sure that we were back together and now she cant even look at me. I grabbed a bottle of water and Tylenol and headed back up I guess I have to face reality now that what happened with Bella last night was just because we were drinking and that nothing has changed, The thoughts make me nausous.

I ran back upstairs there she sat up in bed the sheet barely covering over her breasts.

"Umm I brought you some Tylenol"

"Your a godsent"

"I know you gotta be hungover as hell"

"I am."


I walked over grabbing my underwear from where she tossed them last night, but her eyes never left me.

"So do you really not remember anything about last night?"

"Not really I only remember one thing"

"whats that?'

"How I felt and how you made me feel."


My pulse began to quicken when she said that, there was a softness in her voice that I havent heard since I left. I sat down next to her and she moved closer looking up into my eyes.

"Joey listen I felt all those old feeling's for you that never really went away and they slammed into me. You made me feel like I was the only woman in the world you seen."

"Baby girl you are the only woman I see the only woman I will ever want. You are my reason for everything. I love you Bella marie, I never stopped loving you Im not capable of it. I came last night to get you to listen to me, I think you heard me. You know I want to be with you and you can fight it but I know you want to be with me. We have a history that I would never have with anyone else. When I say you're the only one for me, I meant it...There will never be anyone else. I love you baby girl what do I got to do to get you to see it." 


The tears welled up in my eyes, when I looked him in the eyes I  know he meant every word he said. I just dont know how to let him in because I cant get passed him leaving me at the wedding. His eyes studied me for a response.

"Bella...."

"What Joe?"

"What you thinking about looks like I lost you?"

"About all this everything that has happened"

"I know I fucked up and I hurt you and I hurt the kids. You had our daughter and ive only seen her twice but you have to believe I did it to protect you and I knew I was coming back for you as soon as I could, I just had to deal with Liz."

Why couldnt you have just talked to me havent we tackled everything thrown at us together, we always been better together, you walked away from everything we built damn it Joey you promised me you never leave and you did and what hurts worse it was 15 minutes before I was suppose to be yours for the rest of my life. You see this cut right here

I pulled my arm out from the comforter and showed him my wrist,

"yeah"

"Thats the scar from the glass I had to my wrist that I had every intention of cutting my wrist and just ending it when I got that letter. If your mother didnt walk in I would have. Or what about the week I spent in the hospital and the baby hooked up to monitors because I couldnt eat,sleep all I did was cry what about that."

I feel his arms wrap around me and I couldnt hold back the tears.

"Baby I didnt know"

"How would you, you left and nobody heard from you"

"That was the only way I knew you were safe, Liz threatened you. threatened the baby as much as it killed me I had to go."

"Im not worry about Liz I never was. You walked out when I needed you. Its not that I dont want to be with you or I dont love you Joey because god knows I do. I just cant get passed the hurt."

"I love you Baby Girl please tell me you know that"

"I know Joey, I just dont know how to not be hurt by you every time I look at you I see what could have been with us."

"Baby girl we can get it all back, we can still get married, be a family we can have it back!"

 "Damn it Joey it doesnt work like that, I thought I was hurt when you had the boys with Liz, but this is different."

"Just say we can try again, I promise we can get it all back. Do you remember way back when I was trying to get you to go out with me I said "Im not running are you running" Im not running and I will never again. Just tell me you want to be with me and we will figure it out."

"Ive never not wanted to be with you, but I dont know if I can ever trust you again."

"You dont trust me Bella?"

"I cant you hurt me too many times."

"So this is it, Im suppose to just walk out this door and not be with you anymore?"

"Joey I dont know what you want me to say"

"Can we start fresh, try it again, I know damn well there is something there with us, there always will be."

"You know what Joey I cant do this with you!"


And with that she ran into the bathroom and locked herself in. I waited hoping she come out, she didnt. I finally had to admit defeat and I left. I dont know were we stand and if I will ever have her back again.

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