I shouldn't be alive. Honestly. I've done things I've wanted to do. I've gone to Disney land, I held my niece, I've been to concerts, I've been in fights, I've made love, I've fucked, I've kissed and I've hugged. I've lost two of my best friends. One to death, one who tried to kill me. I've ruined relationship with friends because I'm alive and breathing. I can't walk in public without being stared at. I shouldn't be alive. No one wants me here. Other than two people and one of them doesn't even acknowledge me in public and the other one is so sad that she can't handle my problems and I don't want her to deal with them anymore. my mom thinks it's a waste of money to get help, and my step dad just wants me to die. I can't handle this anymore. I can't do it. I shouldn't be alive. I want to rip my skip open until there is no visible pale skin, and I want to cover myself in bruises head to toe just so I can fucking feel something again.
Please just let me go.
You said you want me to be happy.
I'll be happy when I'm gone.
TRH
