I've never had a love that I knew would stay alive. I thought that the 4.0 student, blue eyed, curly haired beauty was my forever. She was definitely someone to bring home to mom. My first girlfriend. My first love. She was an A+ student, never truant. She had bi black framed glasses that covered her baby blue eyes. Her dark brown and blonde curly hair flowed down her back against that black north face she always wore. I fell for her in the 7th grade. We played soccer together, yet never spoke. I was just another teammate who she used her cleats to kick dirt in their face. I still loved her. but she didn't know I existed. In the 8th grade I came out. I always looked at girls as beautiful creatures, when men plain out disgusted me. I came out on Monday, November 5th, 2013.
Tuesday, November 6th, 2013 this girl who I've been head over heels or approached me. "I'm proud of you" those 4 words meant a lot. But having them come from her beautiful lips meant even more. she gave me her number and we talked for awhile. She found out I liked her and brushed me off. I endured the most heart wrenching pain I've ever experience for 6 months. Until April 3rd, 2013. It's was a Wednesday. She confessed to having a girlfriend. at my house. to my face. I was heart broken and I could feel my heart punching itself, and it tried climbing up my throat to get to my brain to hit it as well, but my tears stopped it. Then, out of my surprise she kissed me. I felt all of the pain disappear. 8 months later it ended because I was going to kill myself and she didn't want to deal with it. She took my virginity, she was my first make out, my first... my first everything. she was my world an I thought it was going to be forever, which forever seems to never be more that 8 months to people. I still have our promise rings and I wear it when I'm sad. she brought me up and tore me down more than anyone else could.
I've learned to not trust blue eyes.
Or brown eyes.
Or green eyes.
Or hazel eyes.
I miss you and I hate myself for it.
It's been a year 2 months and 21 days since we broke up, and I regret everything that happened.
TRH
