WHEN WE MET I WAS THIRTEEN AD I DIDN'T KNOW ANY ETTER IKAY. IM SHAKING AND CRYING BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME I RUINED TOU WHEN I DIDN'T. IM SORRY FOR BEING A FUCK UP. IM SORRY FOR NOT LOVING YOU HOW I SHOULD HAVE. IM SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WANTTO TAKE YOUR LIFE. IM SORRY FOR LEAVING YOU WHEN YOU NEEDED ME. BUT I NEEDED TO GO. I NEEDED TO. I COULDN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE. AND NOW NO MATTE WHAT I FUCKING DO I CAN'T GET THE THOUGHT OF HOSPITAL PAPERS AND DOCTOS JACKETS OUT OF MY HEAD. I CAN'T UNSEE THE BLOOD RUNNING DOWN YOUR THIGHS. IT STILL EATS AT ME AND IT'S BEEN A YEAR. I LOVE YOU BUT NOT HOW YOU WANT ME TO AND I CAN'T FUCKING HELP IT. I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FOREVER. I HONESTLY DID. I SPENT TWO YEARS OF MY LIFE WITH YOU. EVEN THOUGH YOU WEREN'T REALLY HERE AND GODDAMMIT I WISH IT WAS EASIER ALREADY. YOU BROUGHT ME UP THEN THREW ME DOWN LIKE A ROCK THAT WAS STUCK IN YOUR SHOE I AM NOTHING BUT DIRT TO YOU AND I AM SO RIDICULOUSLY TIRED OF MEANING BOTHING TO NOBODY. FOR ONCE I WANT TO FEEL LIKE I MEAN SOMETHING TO SOMEONE. RIGHT NOW I MEAN SOMETHING TO ONE PERSON BUT ONLY GOD KNOWS WHEN THAT WILL CHANGE IT TOOK YOU TWO YEARS. IT TOOK ANOTHER FIVE MONTHS. BUT WHO KNOWS WHEN THIS WILL GO DOWN HILL. THAT IS BEAIDES THE POINT OF THIS.
I HATE THAT I LOVE YOU I REALLY FUCKING DO. FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T WANT ME TO KILL MYSELF, YOU'RE DOING REALLY GOOD AND MAKING ME WANT TO.
TRH
