IF YOU HAVEN'T CHECK OUT MY NEW JUKE AU FIC. If you don't I will force-feed you a hotdog... mk?
-three days later-
FLYNN'S POV
"Babe, what are you doing?" Reggie mumbles, rubbing his eyes as he walks into the nursery.
"I don't know. Trying to be a good mom I guess. I can't do this" I groan, sitting on the floor against Alora's crib as she sleeps.
"What's going on hun? You've been like this since she was born" Reggie whispers, taking a seat next to me.
"Like what?"
"Distant. Doubtful. Scared" He grabs my hand, rubbing my knuckles with his thumb.
"I-I'm fine. Really" I shrug.
"No, you aren't. I know you. I know my girlfriend. You're acting differently. You haven't really left her side once, I know you sleep in here most nights. She's going to be ok without her mum for a couple of hours"
"Seriously Reg. I'm fine" I raise my voice. My raised volume wakes up Alora. Her cries break my heart every time.
"I got her, go take a nap or something. You look, exhausted baby. So go to sleep, o-or do something you enjoy. Do something for yourself" He cups my cheek.
"Hello, little 'lora. I'm sorry we woke you up" He coo's, picking her up and taking a seat in the armchair beside the crib.
I get up and turn back to look at them. Reggie taking his shirt off to cuddle with her. Something I know Luke told him.
I go lay in bed, grabbing my phone out of my back pocket to see a couple of texts from my friends in the Notification Center.
I'll be honest when I say I haven't been replying to them. I know they understand, I've been tried out of my mind.
They all care so much and it's wonderful, the support is overwhelming. I am so lucky to have them, I really am.
Opening my phone I look at my camera roll. Going through memories of us all together. Seeing photos of Luke and Reggie goofing off. Dani and Dawson covered head to toe in water after a rainstorm. Alex and Willie at their wedding.
But it's the photos of Julie with her kids that make me emotional. She is such an amazing mother. Nobody could compare. If you had to choose anyone to be your mom, Julie would be everyone's first choice.
I can never live up to that. She puts pressure on me to be as amazing as her. I wish I could give Alora the life the twins have. I wish I could give her a fraction of what the twins have.
A single tear falls as I have these doubts. I'm a horrible mom already. She's been on this earth for 5 days and I'm already failing.
I never get her to sleep, she won't feed properly, she cries when I hold her. I just can't win.
Of course, she's a daddy's girl. When he holds her, she's calm. She's sound. I guess I'm jealous. I want that.
"Lo- Hey what's wrong?" Reggie walks into the room with Alora held against his chest.
"Nothing, it's nothing" I wipe the fountain of silent tears away as he approaches me.
YOU ARE READING
Irreplaceable
Fanfiction"Life is a risk but I will take it as long as we are together. I promise to love you, always and forever, now till eternity" And with those words, they vowed to love and cherish each other through sickness and in health. 5 years later they are livi...
