Irreplaceable

chapter 36

-so I have some bad news, read a/n for explanation...-

-one week later-

JULIE'S POV

"Mami? Papi?" Dani squeaks, walking into our room. I push Luke off of me, awkward blushes crossing both of our faces.

"What's up sweetheart" Luke chuckles, rubbing the nape of his neck as she crawls into his lap.

Thank god we're still clothed. Well, Luke's shirtless but isn't he always? "I can't sleep" She cuddles into his chest and squeezes her eyes close.

"Ok. Just try to get some sleep here ok?" I smile, leaning into Luke's side as his free arm goes around me.

"Papa? Mama? Dani? Can I join?" Dawson stumbles into our room, running his eyes with a small yawn.

I can't help but giggle "Of course bud. Come here" I smile, opening my arms for him to lay down.

My head rests on Luke's shoulder as Dawson fits into my arms. I feel Luke kissing my head softly with a smile. I couldn't ask for more.

I hear Luke humming under his breath, blinking slowly as he rubs Dani's back softly. A small snore coming from her.

"I think I'm happy with this" I whisper even though by now both of the kids have fallen back sleep.

"What do you mean?"

"This. The two of them, a-and Levi. Maybe we don't need another kid. Maybe this is it for us. I mean we are lucky enough that we were able to have kids in the first place"

Luke looks disappointed for a second, quickly changing his reaction to understanding. "Yeah alright. Whatever you want" He kisses my forehead again before getting up out of bed.

"Hun where are yo-"

"They need to go to bed. I'll put them back to sleep" He nods, picking both of their sleeping bodies up over his shoulders.

"Luke wait" I call after him but he's already gone.

I need to remind myself that it's not my fault this is happening to us. I guess I sometimes forget that this affects him to because of how well he hides his pain.

I get out of bed to try to find Luke, unable to no matter where I look. It's like he's gone.

Crap

"Where did you go last night?" I ask Luke as I walk down the stairs in the morning.

"I just had to clear my head"

"At one in the morning?" I try to keep my tone quiet and passive aggressive due to the kids being less than six feet away.

"Can we talk later. It's just-" His phone goes off and I can see the look of restraint in his eyes. "I gotta go" He leaves without his phone or anything.

The kids look at me with confused looks, wondering where their dad went. "He just needs to go for a minute"

Luke's gone through a lot. I guess even though our drummer is openly gay, there are people who are hating on him. I feel so bad for Luke. I cant even begin to imagine the pain he's in and isn't telling me about.

I get the kids situated for a play date with their friends later today. I just need to clear my head from this whole situation. Taking care of my kids can clear my head easily

Luke and I never fight. There are a few things here and there like every relationship. I just don't know what we're fighting about this time... is this a fight or is he just going through stuff?