Fantasy |g.d.|

chapter thirty eight

September

-Grayson pov-

Ethan's been acting strange. He's even quieter than usual. He's actually trying in his class, unlike how he acted in high school. He doesn't talk to me much, keeping to himself and avoiding eye contact with me.

I've also walked in on him several times on the phone, but each time he quickly ends the phone call and won't answer my questions.

At first I thought he was back on opioids, but after checking his side of the room and his bags multiple times I was convinced that if he was he hadn't brought it back to our dorm room.

But he's happy.

He's not the Ethan that left Jersey. He looks well rested and clean. He smiles more. And he's expressed several times that he feels he has finally gotten his shit together.

So no, I don't think he's back on opioids or smoking weed.

Maybe I'm the one acting strange.

Everything is fuzzy. Days past in minutes and minutes past in days. I feel like I'm swimming, just going through the motions. My grades are the worst they have ever been. I don't sleep. I don't eat.

I'm a mess.

There's no news about Anna. I want to call her mom or Xavier, but I don't want to make them feel worse.

It's like Ethan and I have switched. He's become the respectable, responsible one. And I'm the irresponsible twin.

I sigh, staring out the window as I ignore my essay. Maybe I should call.

-Anna pov-

Mae laughs. "I'm totally going to tell him that!"

"No! I told you this in confidence!" I joke, laughing along with her.

My screen is fuzzy as Mae sets her phone up, giving me a view of her dorm room. "I'm so glad you're okay." She expresses, grabbing a blanket and slinging it over her shoulders.

"Me too."

I had a cast on my wrist since it was still healing from being broken. I also had to be careful since I had gotten a concussion, bruised several of my ribs, and had a punctured lung. It made even walking difficult.

And of course, I had my new gold wire-rim glasses. They've grown on me.

But I was alive.

My screen lights up, a familiar name popping up.

"Mae, I'll call you back in a few minutes. Ethan is calling me."

She nods, biting into a cookie. "See you."

I hang up and answer Ethan's call. "Hey!"

"Hey Anna."

"How's your week going?"

Ethan and I have a weekly phone call. It helped him hear news from home and hear a familiar voice. And it helped me get news about Grayson.

We decided as families to keep Grayson out of the loop to protect him. We knew the second that he found out that I was awake he would rush home, abandoning his studies.

It was kinda fucked up, but Grayson needed to move on without me.

"It's fine." He sighs. "Just lots of studying and such. And luck finding a job?"

"No, my parents want me to wait till I'm more mobile." I sigh.

"I agree, you don't want to injure yourself further. And besides, you have time to figure things out."

"I guess. I just wish I wasn't so behind on my plans."

"Yeah, I get that. I'm sorry Anna." He sympathizes.

"It's okay. Everything happens for a reason."

Ethan pauses. "I've been meaning to ask...can we tell Grayson now, I don't think it would be as big of a deal as you think it would be."

"I don't know Ethan..."

"Come on Anna, I know it's scary but he's...he's a mess over you. He needs to know that you're okay."

"He shouldn't rely on me that much." I wrap my arms around myself.

"Even if he didn't, it's wrong to keep this from him."

"Please just drop it..."

"He barely left your side." Ethan interrupts, dropping new information.

"W-what?" I stutter.

"All summer. He sat next to you all summer. Holding your hand, reading to you, and just talking to you. All summer." He says once again.

"I...I didn't know that." I say quietly.

Ethan huffs. "I figured. What have they told you?" He asks, referring to our parents.

"I don't know...I've never asked."

I feel empty. Why was I so blind?

Ethan stays silent. I can picture his thinking face, his lip pinched between his fingertips.

"Halloween." I blurt out.

"What?"

"It's his favorite holiday. We'll tell him then. I'll come down to visit you guys. I'll be able to fly by then, and maybe-."

"That's a month away Annalise? How is he supposed to survive until then?" His tone deepens.

"He'll be fine. I need time as well, Ethan."

He sighs deeply. "I know...I know. These past few months have been fucked for all of us."

"I'll text you okay? To figure everything out." I say softly.

"Yeah, yeah sounds good."

"I'm sorry." I feel the urge to apologize.

"Don't be Anna. I understand."

"Give him a big hug for me okay?"

"I will."

"Bye."

"Bye." He quickly hangs up.

I lay back down on my bed, feeling sick to my stomach.

I thought he left.

*a few weeks later- October*

-Grayson pov-

Ethan shoves a French fry into his mouth, lifting his head to meet my eyes. "So, I was thinking."

"Yeah?" I push around the food on my plate, not having an appetite.

"What if we host a Halloween party?" He raises his dark eyebrows.

"Where?" I ask halfheartedly.

"The cafeteria on campus. I already talked to the supervisors! They said yes as long as I make it a school pride event and keep alcohol out...I'm not sure how we're going to do that but-!" He rambles.

"I'm not going." I interject, glancing around the crowded restaurant.

Ethan's face falls. "W-what? But you love parties! And this will be a costume party, for your favorite holiday!"

"Not anymore."

"Grayson- Come on please? It'll be fun. And give you something to think about other than school and...Anna." He mumbles her name, dropping his gaze.

I sigh, running my hands through my hair. Maybe this could be a good thing. A new start.

Again.

"Fine." I state.

His head lifts. "Yeah? You down?"

"I'm down."

"Yes!" He pumps his fist. "Okay, well we have a lot to do..."

End of chapter 38