Bumps in the road | J. Puckerman (1)

Bubbles and Butterflies

Jake and I decided to go on a little date to the park. I packed us a small picnic, in a cute little basket. Even though we were going to eat in the back seat of his car because sitting on the ground would just hurt I brought us a little blanket. The blanket had cute little butterflies on it, so it was perfect.

Butterflies mean a lot to Jake and me. They are kinda our thing. A quick google search will tell you 'Butterflies are deep and powerful representations of life. Butterflies are not only beautiful but also have mystery, symbolism, and meaning and are a metaphor representing spiritual rebirth, transformation, change, hope, and life.'

Jake and I have gone through many changes together, good and bad. All of the changes made us who we are, and who we are is beautiful.

Some people say, two butterflies flying together is the perfect emblem of love. Some people use drawing them as a technique to prevent self-harm.

All of this means something to Jake and me, and so do butterflies. If we are together we always point one out if we see it. And if we aren't, we send each other a picture.

To me, a butterfly is something so small and fragile, but so beautiful and strong. To me, a butterfly is the thing that I can see anywhere and immediately think of Jake.

We were walking in the park, hand, and hand when a little butterfly landed on Jake's hand.

"Oh my goodness," I whispered. "Let me take your picture."

I grabbed my camera and took his picture with the little yellow butterfly on his hand. It sat there for a few minutes before flying away. We waved goodbye to the butterfly and shared a small kiss, "even butterflies know you are safe," I told him.

"That is the third-highest honor," he said, softly kissing my nose.

I smiled and laid my head on his chest, still standing with his arms wrapped around me. "What's the first two?"

He kissed the top of my head and rested his head on mine. "The first is you knowing that I am safe. The second is Blaine knowing that I'm safe enough to let you know," he whispered into my hair.

"I love you so much, and you are so safe," I said into his chest. "Our perfect little bubble of just us is so safe. We should go to the car for snacks and snuggles?"

He scratched my back softly, kissing my head again. "I would absolutely love that. If you are feeling up to it, I think we should go to your house and have bubble minutes so I can tell you how perfect you are"

Bubbles were great, they felt like they fixed everything. It was just our little bubble of perfect. We would lay down facing each other, with our noses almost touching, and talk. We would talk in a voice so quiet that only we can hear it. Normally, we did it when one of us was having a bad day.

"Bubbles are wonderful baby, are you okay?" I asked. We normally didn't do them just out of the blue, it was a coping thing for both of us to help ourselves get grounded and take a break from when the world got too much.

Jake used them more than me, I was still, and will probably always be attached to Blaine especially when my brain is going fast. I love Jake, I do, but I am the same person as Blaine, and he's just who I need most of the time.

He nodded his head, "Mhmm, I think so. I'm just a little bit fast, no big deal."

I kissed him on his nose and took his hand, walking to the car. "I'm sorry that your brain is fast, baby. Is there anything that I can do to help it slow down a little?"

"Lil friends and bubble?" He asked, in a small voice. "My head isn't there it's just a little speedy and I would like it to not."

When we got into the backseat of his car, I snuggled into him, lightly kissing his chest. "We can run to my house and grab Elephant, then go to your house for a little while. I can stay over for dinner if you want, but I need to go home with Bug tonight."

Jake nodded his head, "I know. I'm okay, I will be okay. You should still definitely hang out with Blaine tonight. I love you beautiful." 

"I love you so much, and I am so so proud of you," I told him, lifting my head to kiss his cheek.

I got out the food and put it on a little tray that we had brought. He grabbed the little bowl of fruit, and stabbed a blueberry, and fed it to me with a smile. "I love our little good luck butterfly that we found today," I told him.

He nodded and looked down at his hand, "I do too. do they have a name?"

"hmm? Buttercup? That feels correct? Buttercup." 

"Buttercup the butterfly, that sounds so super perfect baby girl," he said, kissing the side of my head.

He was perfect. He would sit in the back of a car, feeding me blueberries talking about naming butterflies. No guy does that, only the ones in movies and TV shows. Jake is the guy that girls read about in their books and makeup in their heads. He's the guy that you can see yourself with forever. He was my forever and he was my guy. 

My happy.