The Secrets That Free Us

Chapter 26

"What's going on with you?" I ask Hunter.

He brought me back to the stream where he found me a couple of nights ago, before he held me all night while he slept in my bed with me.

I'm sitting on the exact same river bank as Hunter paces back and forth in-front of me running his hands through his hair in frustration.

Eventually he stops in front of me, places both hands on the back of his neck and blows out a breath, "I don't know the best way to get everything off my chest here but there's some stuff you need to know. I need to you listen to everything I have to say and then you can tell me to fuck off and never speak to me again. Okay?"

I don't trust myself to speak so I just nod in response. What could be so bad that Hunter's this worked up over?

He sits on the grass beside me and rubs his hand over his face before taking both of my hands in his and looking into my eyes. I'm almost taking aback by the worry shining in his so I brace myself for what he says next.

"I lied to you." He blurts out and I furrow my brow in confusion.

"I have only ever once told you a lie and it's probably the biggest fucking one I've ever told."

I nod my head to encourage him to continue.

"Um, okay, so I didn't leave to go to some snobby ass boarding school like my Mom told everyone." He's watching me, waiting for my reaction.

"I was in a detention centre for 'troubled youths'" he uses air quotes for the troubled youths part.

"I don't understand.." I'm lost with this whole conversation, why would Eva lie? "Why would you be in a detention centre?" I voice some of my thoughts.

"Because it was either two years there talking to a therapist and having anger management classes while still keeping up with my schoolwork or I was going to an actual Juvie and I could kiss goodbye to college."

I process what he's saying. He lied to me. I can't help the tear that rolls down my cheek. I always told Hunter his temper would get him into trouble one day and I was right. I just didn't know until now how right I was.

I know it's irrational of me to be upset with him but I feel betrayed.

He turns to me, his eyes scared and regretful, "Gracie, say something please."

"You left me." The words tumble from my mouth before I can stop them. "Hunter, you took my fucking virginity."
I stand up and pace in a similar way Hunter was. "I came to you when..when.. that happened. And you got yourself thrown into a detention centre and left for two years letting me think that you just fucked off to boarding school, what the hell is wrong with you?"
I run one hand through my hair, gripping at the root while the other hand is on my hip as I walk backwards and forwards in front of him. "I thought we were finally getting somewhere in this back and forth we had. I confided in you. I needed you."

Hunter jumps from his seated position frantically gripping my wrists in his hands, forcing me to make eye contact. "I'm sorry okay? Please hear me out you have no idea what it was like for me!"

I pull my wrists from his hands as if his touch has burnt me, "For you?!" I yell. "What about me Hunter? You left me. I had no one and you left me. I felt cheap and worthless, as if I imagined everything between us. And you let me feel like that. Why not just tell me the truth?" I'm silently crying now.

He shakes his head, "I wanted to. So many times I wanted to call you and explain everything."

"What did you do Hunter? What was so important that after we shared that night and then I confided in you the worst thing that ever happened to me you had to go and get yourself in trouble yet again?"

I know his answer before he opens his mouth and confirms what I'm already thinking.

"Peter Dunn." He says the name and my blood runs cold. His pleading eyes have turned hard and cold.

When he speaks there is no remorse in his voice. No regret. His tone so matter of fact I wonder if I'm speaking to the same person I've known all these years. "After you..told me I couldn't let it go Grace. I couldn't let him get away with it. So, I found him. He was at a bar near his house, laughing like nothing had happened so I waited for him to come outside. Once I started hitting him I couldn't stop. I just kept seeing your face and the thought of what he did to you and I lost it. I left him breathing but just. Someone called the police and next thing I know I'm being carted off in handcuffs. It went to court, had no reasonable explanation without dragging you into it so off I went to the centre."

"Do you regret it?" Are the only words I can find.

He looks me dead in the eye, "Not for a fucking second. He hurt you. The only thing I regret is not killing the bastard when I had the chance."

He rubs his thumbs gently on the angry red scars on my wrists, anger burning behind his beautiful blue eyes. "Every-time I see these. And I'm reminded of what he's done to you. What that night has done to you."

He shakes his head, most likely ridding himself of his angry thoughts. "It was good for me though, you know. My temper is no where near as bad as it used to be and I try to keep out of trouble now. But when Cole came to see me.."

"Wait, Cole knew?" I interrupt him, suddenly feeling very betrayed by my brother.

"Don't be mad at him okay, he went looking for Peter that night too. Lucky I found him first or Cole would have ended up in an actual cell."

"But why? Why would Cole go to you after I..you know."

"He didn't know what to do anymore, I dunno. Maybe he thought I was what you needed." His eyes hold so much hope, so much sincerity.

I nodded my head, processing what he's just told me.

He casts his eyes down, "You hate me now don't you. Think I'm nothing but an angry asshole like everyone else."

I take my lightly quivering hands and place them on either side of his face, forcing him to look at me. "I could never hate you Hunter."