The Secrets That Free Us

Chapter 31

A/N - I know I said no trigger warnings before chapters but I'm giving one anyway!

*****

2 years ago...

"Are we going to talk about what happened?" Hunter asks me, chasing me down the school halls as I walk with some of the girls from class, desperately try to avoid him.

"What is there to talk about?" I huff exasperated. This game of cat and mouse is giving me whiplash.

He runs to close the gap between us and grabs hold of my arm lightly. He waves the girls away then he looks around to make sure no one is in ear shot, "um, I don't know, maybe the fact we lost our virginity to each other last week." His voice is hushed but he's trying to contain his temper.

"It was a mistake" I lie. I'm hardly gonna admit I've been in love with him as long as I can remember.

"You don't mean that." His eyes are begging me not to mean that.

"I need to get home." I lie and catch up with Rachel, she's used to be my best friend and we're still close but she's gaining popularity so I know there's an expiration date on our already fragile friendship. That and the fact I'm sure she's in love with Hunter too, she's always been jealous of our friendship.

When I get home I see Cole sitting on the front step taking a drag from a cigarette. My oldest brother is definitely my parents problem child. He never used to be as bad but his best friend died a few months ago and he's been acting out ever since.

"Stay in your room tonight. I'm having a party." He tells me. We don't talk much anymore and I miss him.

My Mom is in a 'exhaustion clinic' at the moment. Which actually means she had a depressive episode and My Dad took her on a vacation to try and pull her back around. My other siblings are staying at my grandparents.

Usually Cole and I have to leave too but he's in college now but living at home, and I didn't want to go because I had a lot of studying to do so he said he would 'keep an eye on me'. That actually means I can stay but I have to keep out of his way and more than likely feed him.

I roll my eyes and head up to my room ready for a long night of studying and watching movies on my laptop with my headphones in. Hunter text me asking me to go to his place but I ignored him. I'm not good at dealing with things I guess.

At some point I must have dozed off because I woke up to the sound of the music getting louder for a moment before it quieted down again.

In my sleepy state it took me a moment to realise that was because someone had opened my bedroom door and closed it again.

It wasn't until the smell of alcohol invaded my nostrils and I felt my mattress dipped that I realised someone had came into my room.

I froze. Panic flooded my senses and I couldn't move for a moment . I tried to steady my breathing as I turned around, hoping it was Cole and he was drunk and in the wrong room. Or Hunter had snuck in, he did that sometimes.

But the feeling of fear only grew when I seen the unfamiliar face. I had seen him at my house a few times with Cole but I didn't know him. I think his name is Peter? All I knew is he stunk of booze and his eyes were bloodshot with huge pupils. Had he been on something too?

"Yo..you shouldn't be in here." I tried to make my voice sound strong but I wasn't very convincing.

His face contorted into a sinister smile that chilled me to the core. I was on high alert, blood thumping to my ears, body shaking alert.

I tried to scream but the music was so loud either no one heard or if anyone did they pretended not to.

I struggled as he ripped my vest down to expose my breasts and groped them roughly.

I thrashed when he pinned my writs to my mattress with his hands and leaned his weight onto his legs holding down mine.

I screamed again when he pulled off my shorts. I begged him not to do this.

I stopped struggling when he entered me.

I couldn't stop it.

No amount of screaming to deaf ears or struggling with a monster who easily had 100lbs on me was going to change this.

Tears streamed down my face as he violated me in the most degrading way.

I tried to get lost in my head. To pretend I was anywhere but in my own home, in my own bed, unsafe and unprotected. In more ways than one.

When he was finished, grunting and panting like the pig that he is, he gave me that same sinister smile as he buttoned up his jeans and left my room.

The tears were stained on my face now. It had happened. It really happened.

All I could think about was the fact that my room smelled like sweat and alcohol.

Cole chose that moment to enter my room. His eyes were glassy from the alcohol in his system and he struggled to take in my still disheveled appearance.

"You okay?" He asked me cautiously.

Those two words were all it took for me to collapse into a heap on my bedroom floor.

For my brother to comfort me and spit out murderous threats as I told him what had happened.

After a while I became numb to the tears, and all I can smell is Peter's stench.

After I rub to my bathroom to throw up I rip the sheets from my bed and gather them in my arms, before making my way to the backyard.

The crowd of college kids was starting to wind down now and Cole is behind me screaming at everyone to get the fuck out, anyway.

There's a bonfire blazing in the middle of the garden and I let out a strangled scream as I throw my ruined sheets on top of it.
..

Everyone is watching me with sympathetic eyes when I finish my story and I have to look away.

Obviously I only told them the parts they needed to know but still, I felt like I was re living that day all over again.

"And obviously thats when the depression and nightmares came into it." I finish as My Mom comes over to hug me, "My poor baby."

"Cole please tell me you killed this bastard, and I mean actual death." Joey pipes up.

"I fucking wish. Hunter beat me to it." Cole grumbles.

My Mom pinches the bridge of her nose, "Hunter, sweetie, please tell me you haven't actually committed a murder?" She's trying to stay rational but I can tell she's sort of hoping he has.

"No, near enough though." Hunter admits.

My Dad smiles a satisfied smile, "Now this is the story I want to hear."