the strongest avenger (2)

thirty four

I hate him.

I absolutely hate him.

It feels like white hot fire runs through my veins as I leave the training facility. He doesn't even know me and then I trust him with my past and he chooses to be a dick about it.

I don't care if people like me or not—maybe a little. But he doesn't know what he's talking about.

I don't even realize where I'm going till I get there—the roof. I pace and pace, not noticing the lightning and thunder streaking through the skies and the dark clouds rolling in.

It's not fair.

All I wanted was to get my best friend back and now that he's back, he acts like he doesn't even know me. Hell...I don't even know me anymore.

Peter doesn't look at me the same but we can't be together and he just doesn't understand. I pace and pace, feeling my body heat up as I tug at my hair.

My stupid fucking white hair that I never asked for. I hate this, I hate everything and everyone and I hate me.

I don't want to be a witch, I don't want the power of the stones. I want to be a normal person who gets to dream of being married and having tons of kids.

I don't want to keep doing this.

It starts to rain, but my body is so warm that it's not even cold rain.

I'm not sure how long I do this, the rain down-pouring across the city. The lightning lighting up the sky and the thunder blowing up eardrums.

I stop walking and look over to the chaise lounges laid out on the roof. I walk over and then lay down on one, curling up into a ball.

The rain continues, nice and loud, the wind roaring in my ears. But I let it, it drowns out the fury-filled thoughts in my head.

***

"Tal?"

I'm pulled out of my trance, from where I was laying on the lounge, soaking wet looking at the skyscrapers in the distance. I sit up and turn, sighing as I see Peter walking towards me with an umbrella.

He pauses as he reaches me, through the rain I can see him hesitate. But then he sits down next to me and puts the umbrella over both of us.

"Is this you?" He gestures to the storm.

"Not sure, probably." I look down at my hands, not really wanting to look at him.

"Are you gonna come down for dinner? Everyone's been looking for you."

"I'm not hungry. I think I'll just stay up here."

I look up and can tell by the tightness of his face that Peter's jaw is clenched.

"Why are you up here, Pete?"

"Cause we were looking for you and since I'm the runt, I got sent to the roof in the middle of a stupid thunder storm."

"Ah."

I don't have to read his mind to know he's angry, but it can honestly be anything at this point.

"What did he say to you?" I look up at this.

"You couldn't hear?"

"No."

I just shrug. "It was nothing. He was pissing me off and I overreacted."

"Yeah well your overreaction is making him limp all over the place."

"Good, he deserves it."

Peter just stares at me, his eyes flickering all over the place.

"What are you searching for?" I ask.

"My Tallie." He whispers.

I sigh and shake my head. "I don't think you'll be finding her."

"Tal, what happened to you?"

"I grew up."

"No..."

"Yes, Peter. I watched you die, and then I came home to find Ned and MJ dead. Along with Shuri and Wanda and more of my friends. So, I got depressed and then finally forced myself out of that hole and out into the world. I'm sorry that you don't like how I went about it, but it worked. I got help, I got better, and then we got a second chance and took it." I let out a shaky breath. "I love you so much...but I can't be with you anymore."

"But why? I know it's not the age, what else is there Tal? Just tell me, I need to know."

"Every time I look at you, I see you dying over and over. And then I'm brought back to that hopeless place. It literally haunts my dreams, Pete."

"But Tallie," he leans forward and cups my cheek, forcing me to look him in the eyes. "I'm here. We're here. We're not dead, we came back. You brought us back. I was crushed to come back, after what felt like hours, to find out the love of my life was having sex with other people. For me it felt like I was being cheating on, and it's not a good feeling."

"I know, I know and I'm so sorry. But...I can't."

His body sags as he stares at me, his eyes pleading with me. "Talia why?"

"Because I can't give you want you want. Now please, stop. I just—can't do this anymore."

He leans back slightly. "So you're gonna give up on me?"

"If that's what you're gonna take out of this whole conversation, then yes." I pull my knees to my chest and turn my head, looking away from the boy in front of me.

"Fine."

I don't watch him leave, instead I lay back down and let the rain chill me to the bone.

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

The first thing I feel is the cold, and then my teeth chattering.

And then I remember I'm on the roof of the tower, where it was storming—probably from me.

I blink open my eyes to find Bucky Barnes staring back at me. The rain's stopped, and it's pitch black out—night.

"The fuck do you want?" I ask, shivering while sitting up.

"To prevent you from getting hypothermia and dying." He shrugs off his jacket and holds it out to me, but I shake my head. "Parker told me you were up here and that I should apologize."

I snort at that and then stand up, my stiff limbs cracking. I turn to Bucky and swiftly punch him, smiling as I get him right on the cheekbone, which will definitely leave a bruise.

He staggers back and just blinks at me a couple of times.

"That actually hurt." He mutters.

"You deserved it."

"Yeah, I know. We're still not friends though."

"Obviously. You're an asshole."

"And you're a bitch."

"Sounds about right."