A SAMCRO Princess in a Mayans World

Chapter 17

A short while later I was on the back of Chibs' bike, flying down the interstate, my whole body pressed tightly against the back of him, and my head tucked tightly against his shoulder. I hadn't been anywhere near this stretch of road since before Jax died and the thought of being here now frightened me. I could handle the flashbacks and memories of the lighter, more happier moments with Jax, but the memory that was creeping up on me at that particular moment wasn't one I wanted to remember.

Flashback (Five Years Ago - Nora was 29)

I let Abel out into the back yard once we got home from school and then I went back in to feed Thomas. All the while, I felt like I was going to throw up all over the kitchen floor. The morning sickness with this pregnancy was worse than what I experienced with Thomas and I couldn't wait for the nausea and dizziness to pass. I loved being pregnant, but the being sick part of it, I could really do without.

Thomas gurgled and kicked his legs in his car seat as I grabbed a bottle out of the fridge. I smiled sweetly as I approached him and practically jumped out of my skin when I saw Jax standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Hey, I didn't hear you come in," I said with a smile, "What are you doing home so early? It's not even lunch time."

"Where's Abel?" Jax asked, clearly avoiding the question.

"Playing in the backyard," I answered as I took Thomas out of his carseat and sat down, giving him his bottle, "Jax, is everything ok?"

Jax walked to the back door and called out to Abel. "Hey buddy, can you come inside for a bit and play with Thomas? I've got to talk to your mommy about something."

Abel came running into the house and jumped at Jax. He laughed as he picked Abel up in his arms and held him close, kissing him on the cheek. The moment should have been a happy one, but I could tell just by looking in Jax's eyes that what he had to talk to me about was anything but happy. I carried Thomas into the living room and put him in his chair and Abel and Jax followed me there.

"We'll be in the bedroom," Jax said to Abel as he reached for my hand, "We won't be too long, buddy."

"Ok, daddy," Abel called before going back to playing with Thomas.

I followed Jax into the bedroom and closed the door behind me. Jax leaned against the dresser and ran his hand through his hair. The stress of life had been seared into his skin and he looked more exhausted than I had ever seen him. Walking over to him, I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my head into the crook of his neck. He let out a weary sigh and held me tight, letting one of his hands move up my back and into my hair.

"What's going on babe?" I asked quietly without lifting my head up.

"The club had a vote a couple days ago, Nora," Jax said quietly as his body trembled against mine, "I didn't have many details at the time and I didn't want to ruin the moment when you told me you were pregnant."

I pulled away from him slightly and lifted my head up to look into his eyes. "Jax, you're scaring me," I whispered, "Why are you shaking? Why are you so scared? I've never seen you like this."

His eyes filled with tears as he looked at me and in an instant his hands were in my hair and his lips were on mine. A small whimper escaped my lips as I tried to resist him, but after a moment I quickly gave up. Jax wanted this, needed this, and I just couldn't bring myself to push him away. I opened my mouth to him and his tongue caressed mine intimately, and possibly a little desperately. He kissed me like his life depended on it, like he would never have another opportunity to kiss me again. It terrified me.