Poems: Just A Piece Of My Heart

48. Blur.

I wasn't in love then,
And I'm still not now,
And I'm so happy I've figured that out.
- Halsey

Every night, I look up at the clouds and smile,
I see those three siblings sitting next to the other,
Every night when the stars come out,
I see them.

They're always there,
But no one else notices them but me.

To be honest, I don't know what to write,
I don't know how to write my emotions down and make it make sense,
I've got an headache now,
And I'm tired,
Tired of a lot of things in fact.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm on the right track,
Because it really doesn't feel like I am.

Apparently I have commitment issues,
Which is why my relationships never last,
Apparently that's why my feelings for whoever I'm with disintegrates into dust and leaves like it was never there in the first place,
Apparently that's the reason for a lot of things.

I don't like people,
They're overrated,
They bring you down just so they can feel temporarily goodness about themselves,
I've got ex friends,
People who I no longer care to be friends with anymore,
And some were closer than the others,

But then again,
It is what it is.

I've never loved before,
But I've felt it,
I've never been heartbroken,
But I've imagined it.

I'm in my head a lot of times,
Which is why I could make a two page write up on why I disagree with a statement in my lecturer's 27 page note,
I talk about it with my mum and she said,

"I hope you have this kind of conversations in school?"
And I said no,
She asked why,
And I said because most of my "friends" aren't smart enough for me to have the conversations I have in my head with them,
And I'm not about to dumb it down for them.

Anyways enough about me,
Where are my manners?
I've been talking all about myself ,

I just wanted to ask,

How are you?