Poems: Just A Piece Of My Heart

33. Scared

I know I'm not the only one,
Who regrets the things they've done
- Adele

Hi future me,
How's it going?,
I've never done anything like this
But I'm willing to try.

You probably know this but,
I'm scared.
I'm scared of you.

Everybody says the future will be beautiful,
But what if you're not?
What if I don't be what I'm supposed to be?
What if you turn out to be a life full of regrets?

What if you turn out to be a life of wondering what we could have been?
What if we're miserable because of me?
What if our life is just a stack full of disappointments?

What if we are that individual?
The one that hates her job,
The one that's trying to save her breaking relationship
The one that's barely holding on.

What if everything goes bad?

It feels like I'm at a crossroad and I have to choose,
Which I inevitably will,
Because I know if I don't act fast,
You'll be ruined because of me.

Future me,
Please tell me I make the right choice,
Tell me I didn't waste my life and my opportunities,
Please tell me I did good,
That I came out of this nonchalant phase that I'm in,

Please tell me I am okay,
That I became that special person that everyone says I am,
That Mom and Dad aren't disappointed in me but proud instead.

Tell me that I became the woman that has always been in our dreams,
Please tell me that I helped change the world with my pen,

Please.

Tell me my life didn't become one big fail.

Because right now I'm scared

Scared that this is how my life ends

Scared that this "phase" will lead me to my utter damnation.

Please.

Future me,
Help me.
Cause right now my body can't seem to see the bigger picture.
It's busy wasting our life away
And it feels like I'm at the back seat while I watch someone else take control of us.

Future me.
Please,
Tell me my present isn't me.

Tell me that I changed.
Tell me I didn't waste away.
I'm frightened, anxious and scared.
That somehow my life turned into a big regret.

And I don't want that,
I want to be who I'm supposed to be
Not who it made me.

Dear Future me,
This is how my present and your past is going,
But I'm guessing you already know that,
I'm guessing you've felt this before.

Tell me,
Did I do great?
Did I make it?

Please tell me I did.

Because if not,

Then please help me change us before it's too late.

- From your past and my present.