The Better Chaser; James Potter

Chapter 28- Telling the Boys, Everything

 I explained everything to the boys, and I mean everything. My plan from the beginning when I found that I was going to meet Voldemort. I explained why I stopped hanging out with them too,

"I had no free time, and was not being a good friend- heck, a good person overall," I explained, "I was rude and irritated, I was not in a good place," I laughed, "I did not want you guys to see me like that, plus I was constantly anxious and looking over my shoulder. I even broke up with Regulus," I said bitterly, remembering my last interaction with him, "I was worried that maybe one time he would look into my mind and see you guys and would use that against me. I could not let anything happen to you guys ever, I couldn't live with myself if that happened," I continued, "I understand that I probably went about it the wrong way, and I understand if you still don't want to be friends after that but I did what I thought was right," I said sadly,

"You dumbass of course we forgive you!" Remus said pulling me into a hug, 

"You really shouldn't, I was horrible to you guys-" I started,

"Oh shut up Reigna," Sirius interrupted, "You'll always be our friend," He said smiling at me,

"Yeah, you couldn't get rid of me if you wanted to," Remus added. He kept his arm around my shoulder and I sat next to him, leaning my head on him comfortably as I continued the story,

"So I couldn't go to the order until Voldemort fully trusted me, which meant I um- well.." I drifted off,

Merlin I forgot I probably had to show them my dark mark

"Okay before I show you, just know I did what I had to do. I just wanted to help the order and I could not do that until Voldemort fully trusted me which meant he gave me this," I said as I started to lift up my sleeve. I don't know what reaction I expected from the boys but I didn't expect them to be so understanding. Remus just looked at me sadly and kissed my head and squeezed my shoulder to show his support, Sirius looked at me sadly as well and gave me a soft smile. Potter was the weirdest reaction of all, it was like he could not believe I had it on my arm. He moved closer to me, and pulled my arm to him so that we were both sitting face to face and cross-legged and his hand hovered over it hesitantly,

"Can I touch it?" He asked softly. Like I said, his reaction confused me but I let him touch it nonetheless. I nodded in response, too nervous to say anything by how close he got to me, and he traced the mark. For a moment, it just felt like it was us two in the room alone. His touch was as usual, weirdly entrancing and any intimacy between us always shocked me to my core. I don't know why that was the case, but it just was. It felt like forever before he stopped tracing my arm and when he let my arm go he moved his hand to my thigh and gave it a soft squeeze to reassure me. This weirdly comforted me and I smiled softly at him, he smiled back at me. It was then when Sirius cleared his throat and I remembered that I was in the middle of telling the story and we were in fact not alone,

Damn you Potter, what the fuck are you doing to me

I cleared my throat, "Right um-" I was about to continue but I saw Remus and Sirius staring at my thigh with their eyes wide open in shock and I realized that Potter's hand was still on it. Potter did not seem to notice as his gaze stayed locked onto my face,

"Um, Potter, could you just," I said quietly as I moved my leg to get his hand off of it,

"Oh what? Yeah- Of course. Sorry Reigna," He mumbled blushing slightly as he pulled his hand off my thigh,

Since when does he call me Reigna? We've always been on last name basis only,

I shook my head and pushed down any confusing thoughts before continuing, "Where was I- Oh yeah, so I got my dark mark after completing a mission for Voldemort. It was actually the first time I met Mark by the way," They looked at me confused, "Mark was the guy that I came with, the head injury?" I tried to refresh their memories,