We Each Have Our Reasons

Chapter Nineteen: She's Still Alive, Right?

“Oh no, River, did you even go home to rest like I told you to?” Tanae speaks softly as she walks into the room.

I shake my head.

The doctors allowed me to stay in Ty's room a few hours after they did the second operation. It was only supposed to be for a few minutes, but I threw a tantrum and it ended up being the whole night.

Tanae sits on the chair next to mine, and places her head on my shoulder. “She'll be okay, you know. She's a fighter.” Tanae says.

We both look at Ty, laying peacefully on that bed, fighting for every breath.

“She's a runner she's a track star...” Tanae starts singing and I look at her. She stops and shrugs and I laugh at her. “I would sing along if i knew the song.” I say.

She widens her eyes and lifts her head from my shoulder, “You don't know the song!? What's wrong with you.”

“I've heard it from Ty but I don't have it on my playlist, alright?” I defend myself.

“That's the same thing as not knowing the song.” she protests.

I roll my eyes, “We are probably being too loud. And it's your fault.”

“Oh please,” she says but lowers her voice. “So which music do you actually listen to?”

“You act like it's the first time meeting me. You know my playlist boo.” I wink at her.

“Right because I've seen The Weeknd there, I've seen Aaliyah, I've seen Frank Ocean and I've seen the City Girls. So you listen to everything?” she smirks.

“Basically. Any music is good music.” I kiss her cheek.

She looks at me with puppy eyes, “Baby?”

“Yeah?” I answer, waiting patiently for her to speak.

“I'll stay here and call you if there's any changes at all, please go home, freshen up and get some rest...” there's pleading in her eyes.

I sigh. A deep sigh to reprocess that Tyler is unconscious in hospital, and could possibly pass away.

“Where's Rane? Cause I don't have my bike here.” I shrug.

She looks around as if expecting to see Rane around here. “I can give you a ride and then come back.”

I nod. Tanae stands and I do too, but my head suddenly span and I landed back down on the chair. “Shit,” I mutter to myself.

“You okay?” Tanae takes my hand, “Try standing up again but this time a lot slower alright?”

I don't know why she's being this cautious, I just got a little dizzy that's all.

I stand up again, with the help of Tanae, and this time I balanced okay.

We walk outside to her car – not after I kissed Ty on her forehead – and drove to my house.

I must've fell asleep on the way because suddenly we were already there.

We climb out of the car. Tanae stands in front of me, and takes my hands into hers. “I'll call you okay?” she kisses me.

“Stay.” I tell her.

“I need to– okay I'll stay here with you.” she kisses me one more time before we walk inside hand in hand.

“River, you're finally back.” my mom hugs me. “Tanae.” she smiles and hugs Tanae too.

“How's Tyler doing?” she asks.

“Still the same, unfortunately.” Tanae answers after she sees that I wasn't going to.

“Oh lord. Let me leave you two to rest then.” she smiles and walks back to the lounge.

“You okay?” Tanae asks and I nod. She drags me along to the kitchen and starts taking some stuff out from the fridge. “Cheese or chicken and mayo?”

I looked at her.

If it was anyone else I would've been annoyed but it's Tanae and I know she only wants what's best for me. For us.

“Chicken and mayo.” I answer.

She made some chicken & mayo sandwiches for the both of us and we ate in my room. Away from everyone.

As we finished our food, I decided to go take a shower since it's been a couple of days.

My mind seems to be on hold ever since Ty's been in hospital. I cannot even focus my mind on one thing, thoughts are rushing across so fast.

If Ty dies, I may never find happiness again. I don't think I can even do anything properly without her, or without knowing she's safe.

The universe better save her for me.

I walk back to my room and Tanae was asleep on my bed. I smiled, something I haven't done this genuinely in a while.

She is so pretty, so intelligent, so thoughtfully, so– I can't believe I didn't notice her before. I stare at her with realising for a few minutes.

I get done getting dressed and just layed on my back on the floor. I want to go back to Ty. However Tanae will kill me if she wakes up and I'm not here, and I don't wanna wake her.

I walk to the kitchen, open the fridge and close it again, then I walk back to my room. I stand at the window and wonder if I'll die if I jump over.

My phone rings and saves me from my thoughts. I walk up to dresser and answer, “Sup?”

“Is this River?” a very mature voice asks.

“Yes, who's this?” I bite my lip nervously.

“This is doctor Frenz from Beam Private Hospital. Do you perhaps know a Tyler St. Patrick?” my eyes widen.

“Yes, yes I do. What happened?” I say louder than I expected to.

“Please come to the hospital as soon as possible.” the call drops.

“The fuck” I control my frustration. Couldn't they just tell me what happened to Ty first.

Tanae wakes up and looks at me in confusion. “What's wrong?” she asks.

“Did I wake you? I'm sorry babe.” I say.

“Its fine. What's wrong?” she stands up from the bed and balances so well I'm embarassed, I would've fell standing up that fast.

“River!” she shouts at me and I know she means ‘snap out of it’.

“Uhm... they want me at the hospital. I don't know what happened but it involves Ty.” I scratch my head.

“Okay let's go then.” she puts on her jacket and shoes.

I grab her arm as she walks past.

“What?” she looks at me confused.

My eyes tear up. “What if she's dead?”

Tanae hugs me so tight everything feels alright. But only until she let go, and then it sank in that Ty might be dead.

“She's still alive right?” I ask her as if she knows the answer.

She smiles and nods before grabbing my arm and pulling me gently all the way to her car.

I can only hope she's not dead. That would destroy me.